Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Gravestones and the Ten Commandments

There comes a time in a persons life when s/he has to deal with the unpleasantries, but also the necessities of death such as ordering a gravestone for a deceased loved one. It gets even more complicated when you've been married more than once or are comtemplating getting married again. I was thinking, 'Who gets buried with whom?'

Then there are other matters to consider. Gravestones or headstones come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and prices. You can be somewhat creative in the wording that goes on a headstone, but not too "wordy". So, I got to thinking some more.

'You can't exactly write the first amendment on the headstone of a journalist.' In fact, if you etch too many words in stone, you'd need a four foot high by three foot wide monument stone. Using those dimensions, it would cost about $30,000 for the stone and at least another $20,000 for the copywriting service. I could start a whole new sideline. Then I got to thinking again.

I thought about Moses and the Ten Commandments. Too bad God couldn't have come up with something less cumbersome than stone. What did Moses do when he had to write bar mitzvah invitations? Those stone tablets can get pretty heavy. The cost of postage must've been outrageous.

I'm done thinking about gravestones. I always think about the Ten Commandments because they keep me out of trouble. Except for one thing. I may be in a peck of trouble for doubting God, because I wonder why God didn't come up with something like papyrus instead of stone for Moses. He probably did. He decided, in His Godly Wisdom, to see if the Egyptians and the Hebrews could pool their God-given talent and figure it out for themselves.

It's now the 21st century and they can't even figure out how to live in peace. That should give us all something to think about.


Randy Johnson said...

I plan to write my epitaph online, and then I’ll just put a link on my headstone. Something like: Click here to R.I.P.

...sorry, you were being serious huh? I guess I haven't come to grips with the situation yet. I’ll try to be more mortal headed ...oops, sorry again, I’m just in one of those moods.

Randy Johnson said...

When I hit the "PUBLISH YOUR COMMENT" button here it always says "Your comment has been saved and will be visible after blog owner approval." but that seems a bit optimistic; even a bit onerous on the owner. I think it should say "Your comment has been saved and will be visible ONLY IF the blog owner approves." I mean for crying out loud expecting the owner to approve every stupid comment would be pure horse pucky. Well that’s my comment, but if I were you I probably wouldn’t approve it.

Pam said...

Online epitaphs are a great idea. It'd save money, time, and space.

Ya' gotta' love the "blog owner approval" thing. It's really a good idea. I had a Japanese porn site leave me a "comment". Good thing I deleted it because I later found out those 'comments" have computer worms in them & can damage your hard drive.

Your messages will always be approved, Randy 'cause your comments are priceless.

itsmecissy said...

My epitaph:

"I told you I was sick!"

Randy Johnson said...

Thanks Pam!
I don't know about priceless, but at least they're pornless.

“always be approved” Hey I’ve just been tossed the keys to the castle!

I never thought about some dirty messenger showing up at my blog with worms, or some other nasty plague. Right now they could just roll in a Trojan horse full of gosh knows how many evil enemies. I’m headed back to Castle Blog right now to start digging a mote ...and I’m gonna fill it with crocodiles, and install a draw bridge, and put archers in the towers, and I’m gonna... Oh wait, well I’ll be darn’d there’s a comment moderation button right here on the dashboard... ”click ...well that was sure easy. Not as fun as a mote, but easy.

The previous message has been certified 100% pornless by the U.S.Department of Horse Pucky.

Pam said...

Itsme: There's a small cemetary in Key West that borders Olivia Street on one side, and I can't remember the name of the street that runs perpendicular to Olivia.

On one of the headstones it actually states: "I told you I was sick." I laughed myself silly when I saw it.

It's always great to hear from you.

Randy: The Department of Horse Pucky is responsible for gardening, truth (somewhat embellished), justice, and the American way.