Friday, June 18, 2010

Horsie Delights

Horsie Delights started out as a joke.

My good friend, Carla and I were having lunch together. I met Carla 20 years ago when I was a manufacturers rep and she was a purchasing agent at one of my accounts. We've been close friends ever since. She always said I could sell anything. Between bites of sandwiches and sips of iced tea, she bet me I could sell horse pucky. I said, "Your'e on!" (Horse poop chat during lunch is only reserved for close friends.)

Together we came up with the name Horsie Delights, along with the packaging design, marketing ideas, and our unique patented dehydrating process.

Through three months of time, testing, and research (and equal amounts of laughter), we found the perfect 100% organic plant food. I use it on all my plants, both inside and outside. The blossoms on all my plants are huge and the foliage is lush green. My plants are not bothered by insects, mold, mildew, or fungus.

As I mentioned before, Horsie Delights started out as a joke. They were first introduced at a craft show four years ago. People started buying horse pucky gift bags as gag gifts for bachelor parties, wedding showers, anniversaries, bosses day, or any situation where someone needs a good rib. Currently there are a couple of garden stores in the area who carry them, both for organic as well as whimsical reasons.

Horsie Delights is a lot of fun. There's always a creative way to earn a few bucks. The point is: You can sell anything if it's marketed well, including horse shit.


lightly said...

not one to burst your bubble, butt you not the first to sell crap, ceo's , managers and
hr people have been doing it for years.
hell its a requirement to get into political office.

come to thing about it , you not even the first to give it to your favorite local council person.

butt you are the only person i know who wraps it up in a lovely scented package.

i wonder if i need a permit to get a package sent up to me.

i wish you the best in your shitty endeavors. you go girl

Randy Johnson said...

Actual Horsie Delights® Customer Testimonial:

Dear Horsie Delights Representative:

I recently received a bag of Horsie Delights in the mail, and I just had to write to tell you how happy I am with your product. I’ve tried Miracle Glow, Agro-Burst, Steer Manure, and even Stubborn Shit brand donkey poop, but now that I’ve discovered Horsie Delights I wouldn’t throw that other crap on my worst neighbor’s weed patch.

From the moment I first opened the bag and began hearing the sound Diana Krall singing I Was Doing Alright emanating from somewhere inside the packaging, I knew this was some good poop. I followed the instructions and put one Horsie Delight in a mayonnaise jar with some water (Miracle Whip go home, there’s a new salad dressing in town!) and poured it on my lettuce and tomato plants. Then I crumbled the rest around the bean plants and let the rain do the rest. Well all I can tell you is that some ancient formula of Horsie Delights must have been the real magic in Jack’s Magic Bean Stalk, because the next morning my bean plants were ...well, they weren’t actually any taller, but they did look like they were gettin’ some big ideas, and even though my goose isn’t laying golden eggs yet, I do keep hearing that song in my head …so I guess I’m doing alright, and I owe it all to Horsie Delights.

Signed Sincerely,

A Delighted Customer

Pam said...

lightly: Ha! How right you are! At least the crap I sell is beneficial. AND HONEST.

Send me your address and I'll send you a bag of horse pucky.

Randy: Thanks for the super testimonial! The stuff really works! I forgot to send you a brochure along with the bag explaining the NPK levels. I'll put brochure in the mail later today.

Randy Johnson said...

Thanks Pam. I do realize that it IS actually great fertilizer, but it’s just so funny in its elegant little bag. I would expect to find fancy pastries, not horse pucky in such a nice package ;) Thanks again for sending me a sample of your wonderfully original garden product!!