Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Hand Grenades and Leaf Blowers

All the rules and regulations for flight travel are astounding at first glance. However, it's all pretty simple as to what you are allowed to take on board. I found out you can put just about anything into your suitcase as long as you check it at the baggage counter before boarding and pay $15 going and another $15 coming back, as long as your luggage weighs under 40 pounds. I don't know what happens if your suitcase weighs more than 40 pounds. They probably take your first born child.

My second favorite "not allowed on the plane" rule is NO HAND GRENADES. Duh! No kidding! The only reason I can think of for this rule is military personnel who are traveling. But then why would they travel with hand grenades? They know better.

My absolute favorite rule of all is (drum roll please) NO LEAF BLOWERS. Are you joshing me?! If my job required traveling with a leaf blower, I'd be looking for another line of work. Maybe the leaf blower could be used as a hair dryer or a dehumidifier or...never mind.

Just a word to the wise, leave those hand grenades and leaf blowers home or you may miss your flight. AND bring plenty of cash and at least one of your children.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Clean Underwear

Mothers always have wonderful pearls of wisdom that escape me after really thinking about them. My favorite one is, "Make sure you always wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident and have to go to the hospital."

Who cares about clean underwear when your body becomes road ravioli after a car accident. Maybe my mother was thinking about other hospital situations such as your water breaking upon going into labor, then you have no time for clean underwear. Or rolling around on the floor trying to pass a kidney stone, then you are in too much pain to pull a pair of underwear over one leg.

So much for those pearls of wisdom. At least I don't wear my undies inside out when they get dirty.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Tube Steaks and RVs

Yipes! I went from a blog post a day to nothing since June 23rd. All I can say is, life happens.

One Horse Pucky reader thought I went back down to Florida for tube steaks, and another person emailed me and thought I was tied up in an RV park, in no man's land. More on that later.

Just for the record, I was eating tube steaks at home, but not tied up. Many thanks to those of you who were concerned. FYI: Tube steaks are hot dogs where I come from.

Well, I'm back into some sort of a routine now. Life isn't quite so topsy turvy, just topsy. Everyone in the family is healthy, happy, and productive. Horses are full of pep and vigor, Bear cat just shredded the morning paper, and I'm ready to answer calls for my daughter who has a medical practice, but is out of town for the week.

Hopefully none of her patients will die laughing.