Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In the Corner

It has been noted by several people that, when given the choice, I always choose a corner seat in a room. Someone asked me, "Why do you do that?" I replied, "It's probably because I spent most of my time in the corner as a kid."

Then I remember doing some pretty...uh...adventuresome things growing up.

Things like:

1. Setting my rag doll on fire and throwing it into my mother's upright baby grand piano.

2. Calling my father an S.O.B. at age 3 and having no clue what it meant. Mom said I must have heard the words S.O.B from one of the construction workers outside.

3. Blowing up a paint can and singeing my eyebrows.

4. Lighting a candle under the covers (I couldn't find a flashlight) so I could read when I was really supposed to be sleeping, which accidently set the sheets on fire.

5. Putting snakes in the bathtub.

6. Sneaking a pair of hamsters into the house which ended up being 30 hamsters. I had them well-hidden for a while.

...and the list goes on. Now you all know why I choose a corner chair. It's the safest place for me to be.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Cow Electricity

Farmers are now using fermented cow manure to generate electricity. It creates an interesting image for me. Everytime I go to turn the lights on, I'll picture myself basking in the romantic glow of cow plops while sitting on the sofa drinking an ice cold glass of milk, eating a bowl of ice cream, or snacking on cheese and crackers.

Cows are udderly amazing critters. They provide us with some of my favorite food groups, and now are able to generate electricity in a Go Green environment.

The next time you see "Bessie" moo cow, be sure to give her a carrot or an apple and thank her for her contributions to the kitchen table as well as her donation to an environmentally correct society.

As for me, I'm currently trying to figure out how to use horse pucky as an alternative to gasoline. When I find out, I'll let you know.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Greeting Card Prices

I don't know about you, but I love to send and receive greeting cards; all kinds of cards. It's just who I am. However, it's getting to be a costly venture, so I've decided to make my own.

The last time I went to the store, it cost me $4.95 for a birthday card for a close friend. I'm not a cheapskate by any stretch of the imagination, but if I continue paying that much for a card times the amount of people whose birthdays I celebrate, I'll be broke in no time. And that's just birthday cards! That's why I decided to make my own cards.

Now I have a line of note cards created out of the Horse Pucky Studios office (which is really the second bedroom in my townhouse). People have enjoyed the individual cards I've sent them, so I thought I'd offer them to others who are as frugal as I am. It's $7.00 for a box of  eight cards plus shipping. I haven't shipped any yet, so I have not idea how much that'll cost.

Thanks Ev, for the inspiration for this post. Check out "Eye of Newt" to the right for a really fun blog to read, under "My Favorite Blogs".

Monday, September 12, 2011

Three Big Pigs

Three Big Pigs: Democrat, Republican, and Tea Party
Once upon a time there were three pigs who got too big for their own epidermis. One was a democrat, affectionately known as an ass; one was a republican, often referred to as the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about; while the third big pig was really a mad hatter in disguise and the head of the Tea Party movement.

None of the three pigs really cared about the people they served, only their own self-serving. And believe me, there was a lot of self-serving going on. Campaign spending had run amok. Special interest groups courted the three big pigs on a daily basis. Everyone was in bed with everyone else both metaphorically speaking and literally. You get the picture.

Then one day something happened. People decided not to feed the pigs anymore. People also started investigating big business, HMOs, and the education industry. The three big pigs started to lose weight. There was no more campaigning, no more war, no more contributions and the greasing of palms by those with deep pockets. It was just awful for the three big pigs!

However, it was wonderful for the people, of the people, and by the people because they decided to have a lean meat pig roast. I heard certain people even brought their own homemade BBQ sauce and baked beans. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Horse Pucky Advice: Thank You Notes

Dear Horse Pucky,

What's with people today?! When I was a child, my mother always stressed the importance of writing and sending a thank you note for gifts received on birthdays and special occassions. She said is was good manners and made the gift giver feel appreciated. For those gifts that are mailed it also lets the gift giver know that the post office delivered your gift to the correct address and in one piece.  

It seems the mannerly practice of thank you notes has gone by the wayside. Tsk-tsk. What are your thoughts on this? Am I being too old fashioned?

~Disgruntled Gift Giver

Dear Disgruntled,

I agree with your mother. A simple thank you note is not only good manners; it's the least one can do when receiving a gift from another person.

You're not old fashioned at all. If someone is thoughtful enough to spend time and money to buy a gift, then the receiver of the gift should take five minutes and write a thank you note, whether the gift is mailed or not.

Some people are ignorant, just plain lazy, or worse yet...neanderthalls.

~Horse Pucky