A Very Short Christmas Story

At least a million people watched as the giant Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center was lit this evening. "Oohs" and "ahs" were audible as onlookers were mesmerized by the bright colored lights illuminating the cold, dark, autumn evening in New York city.

It's an historic evening full of brilliance, joy, and anticipation for the upcoming holiday season. It's a time for love. It's a time for miracles. It's a time for peace. But not for everyone.

Something happened tonight that has never happened before. One person knelt down, with hands folded as in prayer, then three people were kneeling, then 50 people. Before too long everyone was kneeling, looking up at the giant Christmas tree and singing Christmas carols. But not everyone.

Five men were left standing, each wearing black ski masks, each carrying an AK 47. Terrorists. They were sent to do a job. But not really.

Caught up in the Spirit of Christmas before them, they each dropped their rifles and removed their masks. One had tears in his eyes. He turned to the others and said, السلام على جميع الرجال which is Arabic for "Peace to all men."

No Snow but Lots of Squirrels



Look, no snow!

There is absolutely no snow in Rochester, NY. I just went outside and snapped this picture of my back yard, and the woods, with nary a trace of snow anywhere. Not one single flake. This is highly unusual this time of year around these parts, and I must admit, I 'd like to see some of the white stuff for Christmas.

What I do have are plenty of squirrels, each doing a tap dance on the roof. It got so noisey in my office this afternoon, I had to go outside and yell at the little gray fur balls to "tone it down". They chattered back at me and scampered to the neighbor's rooftop, cursing, all the way, in squirrel language.

 That's what I get for putting shelled walnuts out as a Christmas holiday treat for my woodland friends...a herd of ungrateful squirrels. Or is it a scurry of ungrateful squirrels? Maybe it's a flock? Yipes, who cares. Time to get back to work.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! YOU ARE LOVED.    

Merry Christmas Everyone!



Merry Christmas from Pam & Bear



Being politically correct this time of year is a lot of horse pucky. December 25th is a religious holiday which I have always celebrated and will continue to celebrate. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you wonderful people out there in blog land and beyond. 

Hanukkah was December 1 (sundown) through December 2nd.; Kwanzaa is December 26th - January 1st; and I have no idea when Ramadan is because I stink at math and don't know how to follow the Islamic calendar. For my Jewish pals, African American brothers and sisters, and all my Muslim friends, HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I know you understand.

For the rest of you who think I'm politically incorrect or totally tacky, HAPPY RAMA-LAMA-DING-DONG to all and to all a good night. Oh yeah, watch out for horse pucky in your stocking, on your doorstep, or tied to the door handle of your vehicle. 

The Little Pink Book with the Big Green Pickle

Jon and I were in Barnes & Noble over the weekend to purchase books for our grandchildren. I could live in B & N because I love to read. They also have great coffee, and some pretty good eats. Jon, on the other hand, would rather watch his car rust than read a book, so I went off on my own to shop, leaving Jon to do his own thing. 

As I was making my rounds through the store to find the perfect book for each of the young'uns, Jon came around the corner and said, "Ps-s-s-t, come here a minute. I think I found a book you can get me for Christmas." As I walked toward him, I looked up toward the bookshelf and saw a little pink book. "Oh no!", I said.. "I knew it!" He was looking at a book titled Tickle Your Pickle. I told him, "There is no way I'm buying that book for you for Christmas!"

With my luck I'd get it mixed up with the gift wrapped books we bought for our grandchildren.

Tacky Christmas Gifts

Every year, I hear about some really tacky Christmas gifts. The gifts weren't meant to be tacky, such as a gag gift. It's just that the the gift giver actually thought he was doing the right thing. I use the word "he" not to pick on men, but to share with you what some guys think are great gifts for their spouses.

Tacky gift #1: corn remover pads as a stocking stuffer.
Tacky gift #2: a Wonder bra.
Tacky gift #3: tickets to a tractor pull.
Tacky gift #4: gift certificate for two to McDonald's. (probably after the tractor pull)
Tacky gift #5: a snow blower (something I might like)
Really tacky gift #6: two gold bracelets, each with a different name engraved on it. Too bad the bracelets got mixed up. "Carol's" gold bracelet went to "Sue" and "Sue's" bracelet went to "Carol". OOPS!

It could be worse, I could be married to one of those guys...as long it was tacky gift #5.

Totally Unique Christmas Gift...Horsie Delights

Are you stuck for ideas as to what to get that 'someone special' for Christmas? You came to the right place. In fact, our bags of Horsie Delights® are flying off the shelf.

Seriously folks, people give their bosses, spouses, friends, and family Horsie Delights® as gag gifts. One lady told me, "I've always wanted to give my husband a bag of shit for Christmas." She bought a bag for $7.00!

For serious gardeners, the patented de-hydrating process we use, makes Horsie Delights® the perfect gift for those who want to keep their indoor house plants perky over the cold winter months. I use them on my indoor plants, and they flourish.

Horsie Delights® is 100% organic. The bag is the size of a standard lunch bag and only cost $7.00/bag, which includes tax, shipping, and handling. Laughter is free.

If you're interested, I'll send you a bag. For a lot laughs, healthy plants, and a truly unique Christmas gift, buy a bag of Horsie Delights® while they last. We even have sweatshirts with our infamous logo. The cuddly, long sleeve, sweatshirts are $25.00 which includes tax, shipping, and handling.

As soon as I figure out how to put Pay Pal on this blog, we're in business. Until then, I accept personal checks by snail mail.

Happy Holidays from the Horsie Delights staff, especially our manufacturing team.

Christmas Has Gone to the Dogs

Believe or not, I received fan-email from a dog named Yuri. First I'll give you some historic background

I donated a table top Christmas tree to the Granger Homestead in Canandaigua, NY. The tree is decorated with dog bisquits and various colored ribbon and yarn. It is one of many trees, wreaths, and mantle displays donated for their silent auction, with the proceeds from the auction used to support the Homestead, a beautiful 1816 Federal-style house and historic landmark.

Enter Yuri. He's a guide dog in training. Trainer and handler, Bonnie Kelly, gives her time and talent so others can "see" through the use of these wonderful dogs. Yuri and Bonnie were visitors to the Granger Homestead, enjoying the lovely holiday decorations, and picked up one of my business cards.

Above is a picture Bonnie sent me of Yuri. Below is the actual fan-email I received yesterday. I was touched on many levels. Yuri made my day.

"My Guide Dog in training seems to feel your tree was better than the Guiding Eyes for the Blind tree. Just thought you would like to see one of your fans."

-Bonnie Kelly, trainer

I'll have to make a dog bisquit tree especially for Yuri.

Bail Me Out

You know what? The $780 billion bailout bonanza is a bust! That money could've been used much more effectively to bolster the economy. Every American should have been given $300,000 instead.

Yup, that's right. $780 billion equates to $300,000 for each family in the U.S. We would be able to pay off our homes, credit cards, and have enough health insurance to take care of everyone.

With the holidays coming I'd be able to buy some really nice gifts for my family, further boosting our economy. As usual, Uncle Sam bailed out the wrong people. He should've asked me what to do.