Reality Check Time

Hillary's pool.

Donald's pool.

Pam's pool.

Time for a reality check folks!

My slogan: Make America Real, Again!  

Arkansas Mafia

Be sure to do your research before voting for the next President of the United States of America. I have.

For those of you who think a woman, as the next Commander-in-Chief, would be a real plus for the women's rights movement, you may be correct. But not in the case of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The past Clinton Administration should be called the Arkansas Mafia. There are too many dead bodies, in various locations, associated with Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Dead:

1. Vincent Foster, Deputy White Counsel during first months of Bill Clinton's administration, who allegedly committed suicide. There are too many forensic facts saying otherwise. This was during the Whitewater, Travelgate, and Filegate investigations.

2. J. Christopher Stevens, U.S. diplomat and Ambassador to Libya. Islamic militants attacked the American compound in Benghazi, Libya 9/11/2012. As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton refused extra security prior to the attack. Also killed was Sean Smith, U.S. Foreign Service Information Management Officer.

3. Several hours later, one mile away, two CIA contractors, Tyrone S. Woods and Glen Doherty were also killed.

One of Hillary's comments when investigated about Benghazi was, "At this point what difference does it make."

She is guilty of improper direction of government business, cronyism, testifying falsely, lapsed security, and email breaches of security. Personally, I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

Have you noticed that Hillary always seems to be at the core of White House problems and investigations?

Is this who you want for President of the United States of America?

Instant Idiocy

Remember Dan Quayle? Why would you want to, except for some of us who like some instant idiocy in the form of a Dan Quayle quote.

Some of my favorites:

1. "The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other."

2. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

3. "Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."

4."I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

5. "When you make as many speeches and you talk as much as I do and you get away from the text, it's always a possibility to get a few words tangled here and there."

It's really hard to believe that Mr. Quayle was the vice-president of the United States to George Bush from 1988-1992. Must be the pretty face.

There are more "I" posts at Jenny's.

Yellow Brick Road: A Political Rant

For those of you who have seen the movie, The Wizard of Oz, as a child, you probably should see it again as an adult if you haven't already. It has all sorts of 1800 historical, political overtones, which are still prevalent today. Some things never change.

Now I know why I was afraid of some of the characters in the movie the first time I saw it. It represented the political leaders of the time.

Just a quick overview:

• We all know who the Wizard represents.
• Oz is another name for gold. 
• Dorothy represents the American people and their values, honesty, loyalty, and resourcefulness. 
• The Cowardly Lion could be any politician; a load roar with no power or bite. He was looking for courage.
• Scarecrow, even though he wanted a brain, represents the American farmer who is an adept problem solver, hard worker, and gets paid squat for what s/he produces.
• Tin man represents the industrial workers who often feel dehumanized especially after losing their jobs. He was looking for a heart.

The Emerald Palace and the Emerald City is the White House in Washington, D.C. Everyone thought if they followed the yellow brick road it would lead them to riches and power. It worked for  politicians because their riches were made on the backs of the farmers and the industrial workers.

Dorothy, Scarecrow, and the Tin Man saw the Wizard very differently, which is a classic example of how politicians change their stories depending on who they're talking to and who the largest contributor is to their campaign chest.

Bottom line, the Wizard was declared a fraud by everyone who followed the yellow brick road to Oz. My point is politicians aren't going to help us because they're too busy helping themselves. We really don't need most of them.

All the searching we do for that yellow brick road, is nothing more than a ruse. You find what you need within yourself. 

Follow the paved road to Jenny's for more "Y" fun.

Washington, H.P.

At breakfast this morning, Jon and I were discussing why Washington, D.C. is called "D.C." ( the District of Columbia). The Washington part is easy. It's named after our first President, George Washington. For me, the "D.C." part was too far back into the recceses of my brain to remember much about it.

 It's been a while since high school history class. So...I googled it. And this is what I found out: While George W. was rowing down the Potomac with his band of merry men, they all decided to get out some wacky tobacco from Columbia. They got so stoned, they decided to make Washington the capital of the United States of America without making it a state.

In 1791, after smoking seven boatloads of pot (wacky tobacco), our forefathers dedcided to call the land surrounding Virginia and Maryland, Washington, D.C., which comprises the Potomac River and other tributaries including the Amazon. That's the the real story. And I'm stickin' to it.

With all the shenanigans going on with our politicians, we need to call our legislatures and have them put a law into practice changing Washington, D.C. to Washington, H.P.  We all know what "H.P." stands for.

P.S. I got a D in history.

Horse Laugh

Our GOP candidates are definitely good for a horse laugh or two. Take Mitt Romney. He thinks, '$347K annually isn't very much money.' This is what he earns yearly as a public speaker on the side. How can he possibly relate to the general population he's supposed to be representing? It's actually funny.

Then there's old "Newtie". He's been reprimanded by the House of Representatives for ethics violations and was forced to resign his post from the House by members of his own party. 

Newt's on marriage number three to Callista, who is 23 years his junior. With her plastic hair and other bodily alterations, which include a nose job, face lift, and botox, I'd say they're both right up there with the Who's Who of Pretense.

It's all too much for the Horse Pucky Queen. What happened to morals, ethics, and values? In case you're wondering, I'm not voting for any of these guys. Why? Because the GOP is nothing more than a horse laugh most of the time, and a pile of horse pucky all of the time.   

Debts 'R' Us

I am sick and tired listening to people bluster on and on and on, ad nauseum, about the current economic climate being the result of our current administration. Turn off the damn TV and start reading economic history!

The United States has had a public debt of $75,463,476 since its founding in 1791 as a result of the American Revolutionary War. The debt got paid off because there were 14 budget surpluses and 2 deficits. Then there was a sharp debt increase because of the War of 1812. The U.S. paid off 99.97% of that debt due to surpluses.

Here's where it starts really going downhill fast. As a result of the Civil War, the debt was $65 million in 1860, passed $1 billion in 1863 and by the end of the war reached $2.7 billion. During the following 47 years there were 36 surpluses and 11 deficits with 55% of the debt paid off.

Do you see more than one pattern here? There have been, and continue to be, layers and layers of political horse pucky thrown at the American people for the last 225 years. Turn off your TV and read some economic history. Think for yourself. Then vote for The Horse Pucky Queen.

P.S.Many thanks to wikipedia for a quick synposis of the historical data in this blog post. You may want to read, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, by Edward Gibbon. It's scary...we're almost there.

Limericks

I love *limericks. A friend of mine sent this one to me this morning. I just can't help myself, so I'm gonna' share this with all of you. All I can say is, I wish I wrote it 'cause I think it's really funny. 

There once was a pervert named Weiner,
Who had a perverted demeanor,
Forced from the hill
for acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one Weiner leaner.

HA!

I know what you're all probably thinking; enough of the Weiner jokes already.

*For those of you who are more literary types I've provided an FYI: Limerick is an Irish word that dates back to 1896. The definition of a limerick according to Webster's Collegiate Dictionary: a light or humorous verse form of 5 chiefly anapestic (metrical) verses of which lines 1,2, and 5 are of 3 feet (metrical), and lines 3 and 4 are of 2 feet (metrical) wth a rhyme scheme of aabba.

Suggestion: Try your hand at writing a limerick on any topic. I can't wait to see what you all come up with.

There Must Be Something In The Air

There must be something in the air, in New York State, that makes people do stupid, crazy things.

Without sounding too hokey, Congressman Anthony Weiner is a real wiener who can't keep his weenie where it belongs. He's part of a new trend of politicians who seem to think that exposing themselves on their blackberries to unsuspecting females is cute or funny or a turn-on. What a bunch of numb nuts.

First there was our Democratic Party governor, Eliot Spitzer, who, in March of 2008, was patronizing a prostitution service called Emperors Club VIP. Next came Chris Lee, Republican Party U.S. Representative who texted himself half naked to an unknown female on Craigslist. Now we have A. Weiner (how appropriate), who sent pictures of himself in his underwear to various women.

So far we have two New York Democrats, and one Republican who think they're hot stuff. There are probably lots more who haven't  been caught yet.

I think we, as responsible voters, should take our elected politicians' taxpayer-funded blackberries away. Then we need to clean up whatever pollutants are in the air that are making our elected officials act like teenage boys on a bad testosterone trip.

C'mon guys! You're all thinking with the wrong head.

The Horse Pucky Party

At last! A memorable gubernatorial debate right here in upstate New York! And on local television too! There are seven political parties represented for the job of New York State Governor.

The first two parties are all too familiar. After listening to their usual same-old-do-nothing-no-ideas rhetoric, I mentally tuned out all but three candidates. Those three were very intriguing and are starred below.

1. Democratic Party: Andrew Cuomo, with his running mate, our ever-popular, Rochester Mayor, Bob Duffy. A well-oiled political machine. A little too slick for my taste.

2. Republican Party: Carl Paladino.Don't know who his running mate is. In fact, I never even heard of Paladino before this election. After hearing Paladino in the debate, his running mate would be smart to keep running...all the way to some foreign border town, perhaps Canada. Sorry, lightly.

*3. Anti-Prohibition Party: Kirsten Davis, the Manhattan Madam. I really like her. She's smart!

4. Freedom Party: Charlie Barron. Wasn't impressed at all.

5. Green Party: Howie Hawkins. I think he's had a bit too much green tea. He may even wear green underwear.

*6. Libertarian Party: Warren Redlich...This guy had some good ideas.

And, last but not least...

*7. Rent-Is-Too-Damn-High Party: Jimmy McMillan. He's for the "little guy" who's struggling to pay rent in New York City 'cause "The rent is too damn high!"

I like what Kristen Davis has to say. She wants more charter schools. Me too. She wants to legalize marijuana and prostitution. Me too. During the debate, she stayed on track when a question was asked, answering with confidence, without a lot of horse pucky. My favorite statement from her is, "Politicians are the worst prostitutes in the state. I may be the only person sitting on this stage able to deal with them."  I say, "AMEN!"

Warren Redlich wants to get rid of unnecessary committees that cost taxpayers beaucoup bucks. There's a transportation commitee with three guys, who meet three times a month with no accountability, each making an annual salary of $100,000 = $300,000. Redlich said, "Jimmy, Howie, and I would charge a total of $300, a six-pack of beer, and a pizza, 'cause that's all the committee is worth...if that much"

Next gubernatorial election, I'm going to start The Horse Pucky Party and run for Governor of New York State. My motto: If you really care about this state...don't hesitate...vote for someone who can sling it better than anybody. Whaddaya' think folks? Do I get your vote?     

Beam Me Up!

I really can't believe it! Ex-madam, Kristin Davis is going to run for governor of New York State. She's being supported by GOP, Roger Stone, a former Nixon, Reagan, Bush, operative and he's totally serious about getting the Manhattan Madam on the ballot.

In order to start the ball rolling, 15,0000 signatures are needed to get Kristin on the ballot. Stone's plan is to hire four penthouse "pets" properly attired, make them notaries, then have them collect signatures at Grand Central Station during rush hour. It's brilliant, I tell ya!

Kristin is pretty cagey when it comes to money matters. Her platform will be to legalize prostitution and marijuana which will close New York State's $2.5 billion budget gap. Another outstanding idea!

The truth of the matter is...it may just work. In case you are wondering...Kristin's picture is below.

Personally, I think there'll be a lot of guys moving to New York State in the not-too-distant-future. Especially if she's elected Governor.

Kick Ass Sneakers

Michelle Obama may have paid $540 for her French sneakers, but they don't hold a candle to my pastel plaid, kick ass, high top, all stars by Converse. And I only paid $25 for them, on sale, at the Famous Footwear store.

Take a gander at those plaid babies. Are they cool or what? Eat you heart out Michelle. I know you wish you had called me first. We could've go on a shopping spree together at Famous Footwear in Rochester, NY. After that we'd be off to the barn for some serious horse pucky stompin' in our haute couture diddly bops.

Oh yeah, that's what we called sneakers in high school a few years back...diddly bops. And they didn't cost taxpayers $540.

The Rubber Room

New York State politicians are always trying to figure out ways to cut costs. How about doing away with the rubber room with annual costs in excess of $35 million.

What is the rubber room? It's a detaining center for teachers who are accused of misconduct. Some of the misconduct may be ficticious or true. The point is, the rubber room holds these teachers until a court date is set for a hearing and adjudication. It can take years for a court date to be set. Meanwhile, each teacher held in detention, receives full pay and benefits for doing nothing.

The idea of the rubber room was to help teachers who were falsely accused by students...students who didn't like their teacher. It was usually one of those unruly brats who were taken to task by a teacher who cares. Brat gets torked off. Brat reports that teacher abused him. Teacher gets the rubber room whether deserved or not.

Unfortunately, there are some teachers who are abusive, or who have been arrested for drug posesion, or on DWI charges. Those who are truly guilty of obvious misconduct should be fired, not detained in the rubber room.

The public needs to be aware of this $35 million fiasco, which has been dumped on already overburdened taxpayers. Shame on the New York State Department of Education. It's more horse pucky as usual

For more details on The Rubber Room go to http://www.rubberroommovie.com/

Mother Goose: Humpty Dumpty and Politics

The other day I was rummaging through some boxes in the basement and found my old Mother Goose nursery rhyme book.

After reading a couple of rhymes, my brain started reworking the rhymes into kooky, political flights of fancy. In other words adult ADHD kicked in, and Humpty Dumpty got turned into a political parody of sorts.

If you want to read on, do so at your own risk.

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

but it wasn't profitable for Humpty at all.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a stool

but for Humpty Dumpty that, too, was un-cool.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the fence,

just like our local and federal government.

Now Humpty makes money using fence sitting tactics,

by lobbying, filibustering, and other money-grubbing antics.

I told you to read this at your own risk. I hope you've stopped groaning.

Horse Pucky Award of the Week #5

The Horse Pucky Award of the week goes to anyone in power who uses people as ways of extricating money from them...such as the U.S. government.

Anyone else would go to jail, but our elected officials seem to have no problem collecting money, in the form of taxes, to pad their own pockets. Call it taxes, call it what you want, I call it extortion. Actually, I'm really tired of the whole thing.

It's very disillusioning to see people who once had good jobs, a home, and food on the table, standing in line at soup kitchens. What went wrong? What's even scarier is...where is it all going?

I need to get off this doom and gloom kick. If I'm going to be homeless, it'll have to be in Tahiti. Upstate New York winters will be tough on my tepee.

I'm Not Paying Taxes

This week will be the easiest decision I've ever made in choosing the Horse Pucky Award recipient of the week. In fact, I'm so angry I'm having a tough time using decent language in today's post.

I find it incredulous that AIG has the gall to award themselves $165 million dollars for employee bonuses, and in the unit primarily responsible for the company's financial troubles! And THAT my friends, comes out of taxpayer dollars! If that isn't the biggest pile of horse pucky I've ever seen, I don't know what is.

I'm not paying my taxes this year. I'm not kidding. I refuse to support the corrupt, corporate, colorectal cobras who are supported by a government that looks the other way while congressional palms are being greased with corporate funds, further bolstered with taxpayer dollars.

On second thought, I'll give 10% of what I own to the government. Since I own two horses, ten percent of two horses comes out their back end, which equals 43 pounds of horse pucky per horse per day. You figured right; that's 86 pounds of horse pucky each day until April 15th when taxes are due.

Guess what the New York State Capitol and the Capitol in Washington D.C. will be finding on their doorsteps on April 15th?! The same thing we find on ours; almost a ton of horse pucky in 29 days.

Horse Pucky and Politics

Horse pucky and politics are one in the same. Notice which picture is larger. There's a reason for that!

I am so sick of the political scene. I voted for Obama. So what! It's the same old horse pucky, different day. Yeah, I like Barrack, but I'd like it a whole lot better if he'd get up and say, "I can't really change anything. That's up to you. What I can do is clean house."

Stimulus package my lilly white butt. I'll give 'em a stimulus package. I have an electric wok. I'll just take the metal rod that plugs into the wok and stick it where the sun don't shine. Then I'll take the electric cord attached to the rod and plug that into the electrical outlet. Could turn into an interesting outcome.

Granted, we need to do something, but how about doing something that's right. Sometimes doing nothing for a while, so issues can be intelligently thought out, seems the right thing to do. I guess the operative word there is intelligent.

I'm telling you, politicians are all in this together. It's a conspiracy against the American people. At the end of their terms in office they retire with full pay and benefits at our expense. Who else can do that?

It's more horse pucky as usual!

Guantanamo Bay Resort and Spa

There's a lot of horse pucky flying around lately about what to do with the Afghanistan and Iraqi detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Poor Defense Secretary Robert Gates, and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are shaking their heads and scratching their...er...ears wondering what to do. I have the perfect solution. Turn Guantanamo Bay into a resort, casino, and spa. It's in a perfect spot for tourists, especially the Russians. We all know a successful business depends on location, location, location.

Guantanamo Bay is located at the southeastern end of Cuba. It was discovered in 1494 by Columbus and still has a restaurant there he started. It's called Chris's Arroz con Polla and Beans. Anyway, the beaches are gorgeous, the views are stunning (as long as you don't stare too long at the orange jumpsuits the detainees are wearing), and the weather is temperate...about 78-85 degrees with cool ocean breezes. Unless there's a hurricane. Then it's 78-85 degrees with enough wind to blow your sandals off.

Currently the U.S. is leasing the land, 45 square miles, for about $4,000/year. Yup, that's right, four thousand dollars a year, which is a lopsided deal the U.S. made with Cuba back in 1934. Casto thinks the U.S. government is made up of a bunch of capitalist pigs so he decided not to cash any of the checks out of spite. I agree with the pig part, but I would definitely cash the checks.

Here's my plan. Since the U.S. has already invested $12 million in a wind project in Cuba for all their power needs, we could add that to all the checks Castro hasn't cashed yet, pick up some investors in Dubai, Afghanistan, Iraq, and the U.S. and build a huge five-star hotel complete with a spa, casiono and nightclub.

First, we'd have to clean up the prison area. Then we could hire all the detainees, along with the 9,500 U.S. sailors and marines we have over there and exchange their orange jumpsuits and military uniforms for tuxes, but only after they clean up the prison area. They could all operate the resort, spa and casino.

Think about it. It's a win-win situation for everyone. There's job creation...jobs that are fun, economic stimulus for both Cuba and the U.S., and the world will get to see Christopher Columbus' first, authentic Spanish-Cuban restaurant.

Cuba really is a gorgeous place. Let's turn it into a tourist attraction. Hey, we could call it Club Gitmo!

Pants on Fire

"Liar, liar, pants on fire. Your nose is as long as a telephone wire. " Or how about, "Roses are red, violets are blue, gargabe stinks and so do you." I was having a '50s flashback today, remembering all the awful things I used to say to my brother when we were kids.

I also thought about the many times my brother and I sat in our grandfather's over-stuffed, green leather chair, drawing mustaches on the models' pictures in my grandmother's favorite fashion magazines. We were a team. We had something in common...subverting the adults.

Things have changed. My brother's a Republican; I'm a Democrat. He still likes Bush; I think Bush is full of...well...horse pucky. He likes the hot Florida weather, I like cold, upstate New York winters. We have nothing in common.

I miss that over-stuffed green leather chair full of fond memories. It's been replaced with contentious political discourse, disagreement about the weather, and a general feeling of wanting to revert back to the, "Liar, liar pants on fire..." days of childhood.

Bail Me Out

You know what? The $780 billion bailout bonanza is a bust! That money could've been used much more effectively to bolster the economy. Every American should have been given $300,000 instead.

Yup, that's right. $780 billion equates to $300,000 for each family in the U.S. We would be able to pay off our homes, credit cards, and have enough health insurance to take care of everyone.

With the holidays coming I'd be able to buy some really nice gifts for my family, further boosting our economy. As usual, Uncle Sam bailed out the wrong people. He should've asked me what to do.