Monday, October 25, 2010

The Horse Pucky Party

At last! A memorable gubernatorial debate right here in upstate New York! And on local television too! There are seven political parties represented for the job of New York State Governor.

The first two parties are all too familiar. After listening to their usual same-old-do-nothing-no-ideas rhetoric, I mentally tuned out all but three candidates. Those three were very intriguing and are starred below.

1. Democratic Party: Andrew Cuomo, with his running mate, our ever-popular, Rochester Mayor, Bob Duffy. A well-oiled political machine. A little too slick for my taste.

2. Republican Party: Carl Paladino.Don't know who his running mate is. In fact, I never even heard of Paladino before this election. After hearing Paladino in the debate, his running mate would be smart to keep running...all the way to some foreign border town, perhaps Canada. Sorry, lightly.

*3. Anti-Prohibition Party: Kirsten Davis, the Manhattan Madam. I really like her. She's smart!

4. Freedom Party: Charlie Barron. Wasn't impressed at all.

5. Green Party: Howie Hawkins. I think he's had a bit too much green tea. He may even wear green underwear.

*6. Libertarian Party: Warren Redlich...This guy had some good ideas.

And, last but not least...

*7. Rent-Is-Too-Damn-High Party: Jimmy McMillan. He's for the "little guy" who's struggling to pay rent in New York City 'cause "The rent is too damn high!"

I like what Kristen Davis has to say. She wants more charter schools. Me too. She wants to legalize marijuana and prostitution. Me too. During the debate, she stayed on track when a question was asked, answering with confidence, without a lot of horse pucky. My favorite statement from her is, "Politicians are the worst prostitutes in the state. I may be the only person sitting on this stage able to deal with them."  I say, "AMEN!"

Warren Redlich wants to get rid of unnecessary committees that cost taxpayers beaucoup bucks. There's a transportation commitee with three guys, who meet three times a month with no accountability, each making an annual salary of $100,000 = $300,000. Redlich said, "Jimmy, Howie, and I would charge a total of $300, a six-pack of beer, and a pizza, 'cause that's all the committee is worth...if that much"

Next gubernatorial election, I'm going to start The Horse Pucky Party and run for Governor of New York State. My motto: If you really care about this state...don't for someone who can sling it better than anybody. Whaddaya' think folks? Do I get your vote?     


lightly said...

you should see our leader, the premier of our province loses a few points every time he opens his mouth.
tomorrow he will give a tv interview. Right now only 9% of the people like him , lets see if he can get lower than that tomorrow.

all countries have there fair share of political scumbags (yes i know all politicians are scumbags) so another one from USA will make no difference to us.

Pam said...

Only 9% of the people like him!? That's pretty bad. Sounds like he should get the Annual Horse Pucky Award.

It's pretty scary who's out there running for office these days.

itsmecissy said...

You have my vote Pam! Does this mean I have to move to NY?

Robert Crane said...

sounds to me you have the blind leaving the slimed, so to speak.

sue bowser said...

i would definitely vote for you!

Pam said...

itsme, I was thinking that you could be my Lt. Governor during the summer months here in beautiful Upstate NY, and I'll be your Lt. Governor on the west coast during the winter months.

You gubernatorial speaking engagements would at least be understood and we'd all eat well.

Thanks for your vote.

Hey, Sue, what fun to see your comment. Thanks for your vote. Your dad said he'd vote for me too. Wow, now I have three votes!

Oh Bobby...not another blind joke. It's a good one! Poor David Patterson.

lightly said...

so our fearless leader resigned today

lets see which pom pass ass takes his place

Pam said...

lightly, did you say your fearless leader has pom poms on his ass? Maybe it would help.