Valentine Question for Jon

Jon already asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day and I told him. ( See January 28th post.) What I neglected to tell you is what Jon said when I asked him, "Hey, honey, what do YOU want for Valentine's day?" He said, "A little piece and quiet."

Valentine's Day Songs Just for You

After taking a poll, two of you said to keep the music. I wasn't too sure what I wanted to do so I gave Horse Pucky a tuneless three days to see what it would be like. Three days with no tunes made me feel naked; so I'm keeping the music.

Here are five Valentine songs just for you. Three are unconventional, but fun and a tad off the wall, but they work for Valentine's Day. Diana Krall is my favorite female jazz vocalist, so she's  listed singing two romantic songs. Enjoy!

At the very bottom of the blog posts, in the center, is a playlist. You can mute it, choose whatever song you like, or adjust the volume on your computer. Enjoy the music with a glass of merlot or a great cup of coffee and have fun. Hugs. ~Pam

Valentine Question

This morning, Jon asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day. I suggested, "Something sparkly." He smiled that handsome smile of his and said, "Oh great, I'll buy you a bottle of sparklng ginger ale."

I guess, with some men, women have to be VERY specific.

It's the 14th of February!

Aside from the fact it's Valentine's Day, it's also the Chinese New Year and Jim Kelly's birthday.

1. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who reads Horse Pucky. If you were here I'd give you a big hug.

2. Happy New Year to my favorite Chinese take out place. You've saved me on more than one occassion when I wondered what to have for dinner when unexpected guests arrive, and I neglected to go grocery shiopping that week.

3. Happy Birthday, Jim. I still think you should be GM for the Buffalo Bills. The team just hasn't been the same without you.

Flour or Flower on Valentine's Day?

Jon and I were sitting on the sofa after brunch late this morning and he asked me, "Do you want a flower on Valentine's day?" "I thought you were alergic to flowers in the house," I replied. "No, I was thinking more like a 12# bag of King Arthur flour so you could make me chocolate chip cookies for Valentine's Day. There's a lot of romance surrounding King Arthur." At which point, I was thinking of hurling a sharp object at him, but declined due to strict laws in NY state regarding pointed, flying objects aimed at humans.

Just a tidbit of local history: Rochester, NY (where we live) used to be known as the flour city. In 1824 there were 20 flour mills producing 500,000 barrels of flour annually. By 1850 Rochester became the flower city because upstate horticulturists, Ellwinger and Barry, started a seed company which became the largest seed company in the world.

Bottom line: Ladies, make sure your communication is 100% accurate even if you have to spell it out. WOMEN WANT FLOWERS NOT FLOUR. We ALL know what men REALLY want. And it isn't chocolate chip cookies...maybe...sort of...or in addition to.

Good Grief Valentine!

How in the world did the romantic version of St. Valentine's Day come to pass when St. Valentine, a Roman priest, was beaten to death with clubs and stones and then beheaded just because he married Christian couples? All because helping Christians in 496 A.D. was a crime. Good grief! Where's the romance there?

I guess Hallmark changed everything in the 20th century or maybe it was Chaucer in the 14th century. In either case, being beheaded puts a whole new twist on things and certainly gives special meaning to the song, "Losing My Head Over You".

More Valentine Horse Pucky

Since we mentioned Bridegrooms Anonymous in yesterday's post, it's only fair to include Brides Anonymous to level out the playing field. Never let it be said that I am gender biased. It's important that I vent my curmudgeonly valentine thoughts in the spirit of equal rights.

Whenever a woman wants to get married, Brides Anonymous sends over a man with a too-tight tee shirt stretched over an excessively large belly. Attached to his belt loop is a six-pack of cheap beer as he proceeds to languish on your damask sofa, feet up on your antique coffee table, watching (what else) football. An occasional belch is the only means of communication. Who needs it?!

So ladies, when the marriage mood strikes the first thing you need to do is call Brides Anonymous. After Mr. Tacky leaves, grab a nice glass of wine, light a few candles around the house, pop some popcorn, and be thankful you are single.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue. Who Cares?!

Now that Valentine's Day is coming, I decided to write my usual curmudgeonly valentine thoughts. Fair warning to any of you who follow my blog. And for those who don't...tough noogies.

Is your barn/house cat your real significant other? Are you tired of all the delusions about love sweet love? Do lacy valentines make you want to run to the liquor cabinet? I can answer "yes" to all three of these questions. So, let's get straight to the heart of the matter. Valentine's Day is more fun spent in the barn shoveling horse pucky.

In my opinion the only ties that bind are made of either baling twine or barbed wire. The reality of it all is; it's easier to stay single. I know a gentleman who belongs to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever he feels like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn his toast for him.

I just realized it's 1:20 a.m. I need to get my beauty rest. Tomorrow I'll continue this Valentine saga.

How to Please Your Sweetie on Valentine's Day

Listen up guys! I hate to be a nag, but Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I have some great ideas that will please your sweetie on February 14th:

1. Go to the local 7-11 and buy a six-pack of your favorite beer to share with your spouse/significant other. Don't forget a couple of straws.

2. Take her ice fishing. She has to supply the bait. Worms are good. If the ground is too cold to dig for worms, your local bait shop has them pre-packaged and all warmed up.

3. Invite her to an indoor tractor pull and then take her to McDonald's for dinner. The smell of diesel fuel, the sound of roaring engines, and the taste of greasy food will really turn her on.

Did you think I was serious? Well sort of. But really, send your sweetie a floral arrangement with her birth flower as part of the bouquet. Then make reservations at a B&B (bed and breakfast) in a scenic area, in the country for the weekend. Make sure the B&B has a bottle of champagne and a box of her favorite chocolates on a table in your room. In addition, make reservations for dinner at a four-star restaurant in the area.

The weekend will be relaxing and enjoyable for both of you. When you get home, the flowers will be there to remind you both of the great relationship you have.

Congratulations, you just made a happy memory. Happy Valentine's Day!