C'est L'Amour

An original valentine poem and a dozen long stemmed red roses just for you:

Life is good;

I sure am lucky.

You're the best,

and that's no pucky.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Toasted Hearts Equal Amour

Another fun Valentine surprise for your honey is toast stamped with hearts that say "I love you" to go along with the heart shaped eggs you serve.

It's sure to stir up some passionate feelings.

The best part is you can use both items, the heart shaped egg mold and heart stamp, any time you feel the urge to be romantic. Check out the last post to see the egg mold.

Another amorous find from http://www.wonderfullywacky.com/

Show the love of your life how much they're appreciated. You'll be glad you did.

Valentine Breakfast in Bed

Serve your sweetie breakfast in bed with a heart shaped egg on toast. You can even buy a heart stamp to imprint on the toast.

Pictured is a heart shaped mold that will turn an ordinary egg into a romantic bit of morning magic. You can purchase it at http://www.wonderfullywacky.com/

There'll be a lot of ooing and ahing as your honey compliments you on your creative genius.

Stay tuned for more unique valentine ideas.

By the way, if you're not that romantic, and prefer a gag gift, I can sell you a bag of horse pucky in a green and tan plaid gift bag for $7.50, which includes shipping. Believe it or not, I've already sold 11 bags for Valentine's Day. I sure hope the recipients have a sense of humor.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue. Who Cares?!

Now that Valentine's Day is coming, I decided to write my usual curmudgeonly valentine thoughts. Fair warning to any of you who follow my blog. And for those who don't...tough noogies.

Is your barn/house cat your real significant other? Are you tired of all the delusions about love sweet love? Do lacy valentines make you want to run to the liquor cabinet? I can answer "yes" to all three of these questions. So, let's get straight to the heart of the matter. Valentine's Day is more fun spent in the barn shoveling horse pucky.

In my opinion the only ties that bind are made of either baling twine or barbed wire. The reality of it all is; it's easier to stay single. I know a gentleman who belongs to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever he feels like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn his toast for him.

I just realized it's 1:20 a.m. I need to get my beauty rest. Tomorrow I'll continue this Valentine saga.

How to Please Your Sweetie on Valentine's Day

Listen up guys! I hate to be a nag, but Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I have some great ideas that will please your sweetie on February 14th:

1. Go to the local 7-11 and buy a six-pack of your favorite beer to share with your spouse/significant other. Don't forget a couple of straws.

2. Take her ice fishing. She has to supply the bait. Worms are good. If the ground is too cold to dig for worms, your local bait shop has them pre-packaged and all warmed up.

3. Invite her to an indoor tractor pull and then take her to McDonald's for dinner. The smell of diesel fuel, the sound of roaring engines, and the taste of greasy food will really turn her on.

Did you think I was serious? Well sort of. But really, send your sweetie a floral arrangement with her birth flower as part of the bouquet. Then make reservations at a B&B (bed and breakfast) in a scenic area, in the country for the weekend. Make sure the B&B has a bottle of champagne and a box of her favorite chocolates on a table in your room. In addition, make reservations for dinner at a four-star restaurant in the area.

The weekend will be relaxing and enjoyable for both of you. When you get home, the flowers will be there to remind you both of the great relationship you have.

Congratulations, you just made a happy memory. Happy Valentine's Day!