Since we mentioned Bridegrooms Anonymous in yesterday's post, it's only fair to include Brides Anonymous to level out the playing field. Never let it be said that I am gender biased. It's important that I vent my curmudgeonly valentine thoughts in the spirit of equal rights.
Whenever a woman wants to get married, Brides Anonymous sends over a man with a too-tight tee shirt stretched over an excessively large belly. Attached to his belt loop is a six-pack of cheap beer as he proceeds to languish on your damask sofa, feet up on your antique coffee table, watching (what else) football. An occasional belch is the only means of communication. Who needs it?!
So ladies, when the marriage mood strikes the first thing you need to do is call Brides Anonymous. After Mr. Tacky leaves, grab a nice glass of wine, light a few candles around the house, pop some popcorn, and be thankful you are single.
