Good Grief Valentine!

How in the world did the romantic version of St. Valentine's Day come to pass when St. Valentine, a Roman priest, was beaten to death with clubs and stones and then beheaded just because he married Christian couples? All because helping Christians in 496 A.D. was a crime. Good grief! Where's the romance there?

I guess Hallmark changed everything in the 20th century or maybe it was Chaucer in the 14th century. In either case, being beheaded puts a whole new twist on things and certainly gives special meaning to the song, "Losing My Head Over You".

Roving Eyes

Why is it that men, no matter how happy they are with the woman they're with, have a roving eye?

Can any of you gentlemen answer that question? This is a survey.

Exciting New Job Perspective

After serious consideration, I decided to submit my resume to the Buffalo Bills as their head coach.

My qualifications are as follows:

1. Cheerleader for Eastridge High School Lancers football team (1958).

2. I can throw a spiral pass at least one yard on a good day.

3. I live in Rochester, NY and Buffalo is only 80 miles away. With my "lead" foot, I can get there in 45 minutes.

4. I love the snow.

5. Being a female coach increases the testosterone levels of the players, thus lighting a fire under them so they play better.

6. Just sittiing and watching the Bills play is frustrating. As head coach, I can become an active participant and swear at them in person.

7. I'm cuter than Dick Jauron, and definitely have more energy.

8. Owner, Ralph wilson, Jr. at age 91 is near-sighted and probably won't even realize I'm a female.

9. I'm totally familiar with the AFL, NFL, AFC, PGA, HBPA.

10. Last but not least I have the perfect last name...BEERS. The guys can call me "Six Pack".

Whadaya think? Will I get the job or not? I'll definitly keep you posted.

First Sign of Cabin Fever

Many women have beautiful feet. I'm not one of them. Over the years I've been stepped on by horses, men who think they can dance, and objects falling from overhead closets that were placed where they shoulddn't have been. But it doesn't matter, because this time of year (and it's only the middle of January) I get cabin fever. The first thing I do to avoid my homicidal tendencies during these cold snowy months is get out a bottle of red nail polish and paint my toenails. It's usually a rite of spring, but this year I can't wait until spring.

I keep the house at 62 degrees, because I'm too cheap to pay the gas & electric company their exorbantant rates, so the red nail polish I used got kinda gloppy. Again, I don't really care, because my toes are a lovely shade of gloppy red and I'm happy. Everytime I look at my toes I smile. Yup, this cold weather is really getting to me. But, then again, simple minds like simple things.

Has It Been That Long?

I can't believe October 13th was my last post. Tsk, tsk.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays, Happy Hannuka, or whatever is politically correct these days.

In any and all cases I wish all of you a super year full of mischief, curmudgeonly spirit, and good old rip roaring raucous humor. When all else fails, have fun!