Monday, March 28, 2011

There Goes My Eyeball Into My Highball

My left eye lens, along with the cataracts, was sucked into a tube and replaced with a brand spankin-new, slightly rounded clear lens. This week was part 2 of my cataract surgery with part 1 being two weeks ago. I see great, but I'm in a heap of trouble. In the pre-op area, after the initial eye-numbing procedure, I was singing, "Cataracts, I done got cataracts. There goes my eyeball into my highball."  That was before surgery. After surgery it got worse.

The anesthesia they gave me was a non-narcotic that makes you forget what happened. When I went to the doctors ofice the next morning for a post-op check up, everyone in the office was laughing. They asked me if I remembered anything. "Sure", I said. "I actually watched the surgical nurse swab out my left eye with betadine solution." "What else do you remember" they smirked? "Ah...nothing else", I said with trepidation.
That's when I was told that I proposed to the doctor, proposed to the anesthesiologist, made fart noises when the nurse bent over, and kept singing 'there goes my eyeball into my highball' to the tune of "Jeapardy", which was a tune my grandparents listened to frequently when I was a young'un.

To make matters worse, an elderly lady in the curtained cubicle next to me was laughing so hard she got chest pains. The surgical team thought she was having an angina attack and sent her home. She had to reschedule her cataract surgery for a later day.

It's no horse pucky when I tell you, it's the first time the surgical staff (both pre-op and post-op) considered kicking someone out of the surgical center. 


itsmecissy said...

Sounds like when you had your colonoscopy Pam. Just can't hold your drugs! (glad everything went well though):D

Pamela Beers. said...

Wow, those drugs are something else. At least there were a few laughs and I wasn't homicidal.

Everything went very well. Thanks itsme. ;-]

Marc said...

If you can find out which drug that was , Id
be interested in some.

Randy Johnson said...

Thanks for a good laugh Pam! You're lucky they didn't put you on youtube, or maybe not... you might have been discovered!

Ev Newton (Newt) said...

I love this, especially knowing that your eyeball is not really in your highball. I'm not sure you want a doctor convulsing in laughter when he has a knife in his hand.

Pamela Beers. said...

Marc: The drug is Versed. It's a non-narcotic psychotropic medication used to treat people who are anxious and/or have panic attacks. It also makes you forget.

Randy & Ev: Good thing it was the second eye. They probably wouldn't let me back in the surgical center.

Anonymous said...

Good thing it was the second eye. They're going to remember you. Think of it this way - you cheered everybody up - including the old lady they sent home.

Did the Dr. or the anesthesiologist accept your proposals? You could be a bigamist if they both said, yes.

I wish I had been there. I could have brought the fart book and we could have done a duet.


Pamela Beers. said...

Carla, now I know why you're my best friend. Good thing you weren't there. We'd have both been arrested. Thanks for commenting.

lightly said...

life really sucks, you the life of the party and you missed it.
someone somewhere must have a video of that, cell phones everywhere.

Pamela Beers. said...

lightly, that's the story of my life. Good thing no one took any pictures. It's one of those times I'm glad Randy wasn't around with his camera.

Robert Crane said...

hmmm ... maybe you could release the song on eye-tunes. just a thought.

Pamela Beers. said...

Robert, eye-tunes? Good one. A bit of a groaner, but cute.