There Goes My Eyeball Into My Highball

My left eye lens, along with the cataracts, was sucked into a tube and replaced with a brand spankin-new, slightly rounded clear lens. This week was part 2 of my cataract surgery with part 1 being two weeks ago. I see great, but I'm in a heap of trouble. In the pre-op area, after the initial eye-numbing procedure, I was singing, "Cataracts, I done got cataracts. There goes my eyeball into my highball."  That was before surgery. After surgery it got worse.

The anesthesia they gave me was a non-narcotic that makes you forget what happened. When I went to the doctors ofice the next morning for a post-op check up, everyone in the office was laughing. They asked me if I remembered anything. "Sure", I said. "I actually watched the surgical nurse swab out my left eye with betadine solution." "What else do you remember" they smirked? "Ah...nothing else", I said with trepidation.
That's when I was told that I proposed to the doctor, proposed to the anesthesiologist, made fart noises when the nurse bent over, and kept singing 'there goes my eyeball into my highball' to the tune of "Jeapardy", which was a tune my grandparents listened to frequently when I was a young'un.

To make matters worse, an elderly lady in the curtained cubicle next to me was laughing so hard she got chest pains. The surgical team thought she was having an angina attack and sent her home. She had to reschedule her cataract surgery for a later day.

It's no horse pucky when I tell you, it's the first time the surgical staff (both pre-op and post-op) considered kicking someone out of the surgical center.