Thursday, April 15, 2010

Toilet Paper Direction: Over or Under?

The Browncroft Family Restaurant is a great place for breakfast meetings. It has good food, is reasonably priced, and has super service. It has also become my makeshift office, away from my real office, where I meet with folks who actually pay me for my writing. Bribing them with breakfast usually helps.

Another perk: BFR is close to my home office (which is actually the second floor bedroom in my townhouse, which I also share with Bear, my cat). But I digress. The real story here is toilet paper rolls and how they unroll. Personally, I like my toilet paper rolls to dispense from over the top of the roll of toilet paper. I was totally flummoxed to discover, after entering the restroom, that the BFR's toilet paper rolled from underneath the roll. Being a creature of habit, and just turning 67, I was confused for the rest of the day.

The question is how do you place your toilet paper on the spool in your bathrooms? Does it pull out from over the top or underneath the roll? This is a very important question which may have some scientific merit. Who cares if the national debt is in the trillions, or they haven't discovered a cure for the common cold, or (heaven forbid) people stop using horse pucky in their gardens. Toilet paper roll direction is a very important issue that needs to be addressed.

Let's settle the debate, is it over or under? Leave your preference in the comments and I'll post an answer within the week.


lightly said...

it don't matter what the direction it is, it only matters that its there when required.

Randy Johnson said...

I think we both know that there is really only one correct answer to this question and it is this:

Step #1. Begin by holding the roll directly above the toilet bowl with the cardboard tube perpendicular to the surface of the water.

Step #2. Now depress the flush handle causing the water to swirl.

Step #3. Slowly begin turning the roll in the same direction as the water, and continue turning it.

Step #4. Now tip the roll to a horizontal position while still turning and note if the roll is dispensing paper or not.

Step #5. If it is not dispensing paper, repeat steps #1 through #4 holding the roll in the opposite direction before continuing to step 6.

Step #6. Stop turning the roll.

Step #7. Without moving the roll, tear off the dispensed paper, and discard it in an approved receptacle.

Step #8. While maintaining the roll’s horizontal position face the dispensing side toward magnetic north. Note: if you do not have a compass you may use your personal GPS navigation system to complete this step.

Step #9. Now carefully pivot toward the wall supporting the toilet paper holder in whichever direction rotates the compass position of the roll the least. Note: During this process the roll should never turn more than 180 degrees.

Step #10. If at any time prior to this point you have dropped the roll or otherwise jeopardized the accuracy of this procedure return to step #1.

Step #11. Clip the roll securely into position around the dispenser post.

Step #12. Place your hand on the top of the roll and in a swiping motion pull away from the wall causing the roll to turn one full revolution.

Step #13. If this does not cause the paper to dispense freely and properly over the top of the roll, remove it from the holder and turn it around so that it does.

I hope you have found these instructions to be helpful, or at least horse pucky.



Pam said...

lightly: Worse case scenario is being totally out of toilet paper. YUK!! Then again, dried leaves work well.

Randy: LOL; I like the idea of using a GPS system. Thanks for taking the time to explain the step by step approach to this age old delemna. Sounds like a lot of horse pucky to me.

Bear (my cat) likes hooking his claws into it and unraveling it. I've found "trails" of t.p. leading to some interesting places. At least I know where he hides out when he's been naughty.

itsmecissy said...

Good question!!!


My three cats can unravel the whole roll when it goes over. Under, makes it a little harder.


Pam said...

itsme: Cats are always a good case for UNDER. Thanks for the good info. More about OVER or UNDER in a later post.

itsmecissy said...

Randy Johnson,
you are HILARIOUS but you obviously are not owned by cats.

Anonymous said...

Over. My God, many have printed directional designs to help the morons out. Seriously guys...

Pamela Beers. said...

Anon: The point of this is the fact that none of us are very serious. Directional designs...really?!