Monday, January 25, 2010

It's All In the Drawl

Well Y'all, I just found out today why I didn't get the job as head coach of the Buffalo Bills. It's because I lack a prevalent Southern drawl. I practiced my "y'all" for months but it turns out that Buddy Nix's Alabama speech patterns and Chandler Gailey's Georgia oral fabrications were favored over my upstate NY flat "e" nasal twang. Oh well.

Buffalo Bills owner, Ralph Wilson thought I had some great qualifications. One of which is the short driving distance from Rochester to Buffalo, and the other is firing the whole team and starting over. At least I'm on a wait list. If Gailey doesn't work out, this just may be my ticket to the NFL hall of fame or maybe it's the AFL or the PGA.

If you believe any of this I'll be happy to send you a bag of horse pucky.


lightly said...

you are so wrong.

we don't need no woman running our sport.
womans place is bare foot and in the kitchen. you have the bare part down pat, now go cook something.

these people would rather have a male monkey coaching the team than a woman who knows what she is doing.

this is the last bastion on male chauvinism, and we will hold on to the bitter end.

they deserve a bag of horse pucky because they sure as hell play like ....

Pam said...

Bare foot works for me, and I love to cook. However, I can throw a football better than Ryan Fitzpatrick, Trent Edwards, and Brian Brohm all rolled into one. I can also run faster. That's why my grandchildren call me "Grambo".

Hang on to male chauvinism if you will, but you'll never have a winning BB football team if you don't consider other, more talented, alternatives.

Yes, the Bills deserve the Horse Pucky Award of the season.