10:10 on 10:10

My lovely daughter, Teri, and my handsome future son-in-law, Mark,  are getting married in Key West, Florida on October 10, 2010 at 10:10 in the morning, with the festivities ending at 10:10 at night.

Key West

There's a Friday night bash on the 8th at the Rusty Anchor with close friends and family. Owners of the Hemingway House are letting Teri and Mark use the famous historic landmark for the rehearsal dinner Saturday night. Then...ta-da...next day is the big event!

The Sunday wedding will be on the beach, following a morning reception at the KW Yacht Club 'til 4:00 p.m. From 4:00 to 10:10 p.m. there'll  be a Key West pig roast at Durty Harry's bar complex. (Yes, "Durty" is spelled correctly.) To top off the celebration, right at 10:10 p.m., a  fireworks display will light up Mallory Square and part of Cuba. 

I'm planning on partying hearty next week. One of two things are going to happen. I'll probably need an ambulance when the week is over or I'll get arrested...or both.  Wish you could all be there.

Paraprosdokian

Every once in a while people try to stump me with a word. A former teaching colleague sent me the word, paraprosdokian. And I was stumped!

The word paraprosdokian isn't in the compact Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary I have sitting on my desk. It's probably in the 50 pound, 20,000 page dictionary I have on the bookshelf, in the basement. Rather than schlepping that 50 pound monster up two flights of stairs, I decided to do an internet search for the word.

Paraprosdokian means: A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a phrase or sentence. According to Wikipedia, it's a Greek word meaning beyond expectation. It's frequently used by humorists, satirists, and comedians for both affect and effect.

Here are some paraprosdokian examples:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (How true!)

2. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (A great one-liner to throw at your spouse, soulmate, significant other, then watch the sparks fly!)

3. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. (If the truth be known, our pets really train us. In most instances, it's a good idea. )

4. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" (Sounds like something one of you guys would ask.)

Wish I could take credit for the four paraprosdokians listed here, but I can't, and I have no way of finding out where these came from. My question to all of you: Have any of you ever heard of  paraprosdokian?

Beam Me Up!

I really can't believe it! Ex-madam, Kristin Davis is going to run for governor of New York State. She's being supported by GOP, Roger Stone, a former Nixon, Reagan, Bush, operative and he's totally serious about getting the Manhattan Madam on the ballot.

In order to start the ball rolling, 15,0000 signatures are needed to get Kristin on the ballot. Stone's plan is to hire four penthouse "pets" properly attired, make them notaries, then have them collect signatures at Grand Central Station during rush hour. It's brilliant, I tell ya!

Kristin is pretty cagey when it comes to money matters. Her platform will be to legalize prostitution and marijuana which will close New York State's $2.5 billion budget gap. Another outstanding idea!

The truth of the matter is...it may just work. In case you are wondering...Kristin's picture is below.

Personally, I think there'll be a lot of guys moving to New York State in the not-too-distant-future. Especially if she's elected Governor.

The New Unexpurgated Version of Snow White

My Horse Pucky pals continue to give me literary food for thought, spiced up with magnitudes of wacky inspiration. Their posts are great! Because of their clever witticisms and sense of the absurd, I'm going to present a premise for a new unexpurgated version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs that will rival Wilhelm and Jacob Grimm. Thanks for the inspiration y'all.

Instead of the wicked Queen, who is really Snow White's stepmother, we'll have GRAMBO, the meanest grandmother this side of the Canadian Border. Grambo's seven dwarf pals will be NUTS, SURLY, SHIFTY, CANTANKEROUS, GLOOMY, LAZY, and POINTLESS.

 I'm not sure where I'm going to take this just yet, but I think a political parody using these characters as pivotal points for truth, justice, and the American way will be a good start. We can even use horse pucky as a weapon of choice. This can also extend into Canada. I mean, gee whiz, we can even go Gobal with this. Wow! I'm gettin' really excited here. So, whaddya'll think? Are all of you wild and wacky Horse Pucky pals in?

Grumpy and Happy

One of my favorite animated Disney flicks is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I decided the reason why is because the story, with all it's unique characters, is really a portrayal of the human condition.

Snow White and Prince Charming are the epitome of goodness, the seven dwarfs are a representation of all of the personality traits I can portray in a single day, and the Wicked Queen is a totally self centered battleaxe who is just plain mean and nasty. In psychology it's called the Id, Ego, and Super Ego.

There are days when I am the Wicked Queen. My Id kicks into gear, and I feel like putting horse pucky on everyone's doorstep within a 10 mile radius. Then there are days when my Super Ego shines through. Those are the days when I weed the neighbors gardens, share whatever I've baked, and spread good cheer. But, most days I'm a combination of the seven dwarfs.

Today I'm both Happy and Grumpy. Happy because I spent a creative morning with my 18 year old granddaughter, Ivey; Grumpy because some orange-haired lady tried to cut me off on a two lane road that merged into one lane. I would have given her the one finger salute, but Ivey was in the car with me.

Who are you today? Snow White, Prince Charming, the Wicked Queen, or a combination of the Seven Dwarfs? I don't know about you, but I need to work on getting better at being Snow White by working on my Super Ego.