For the last six weeks I've been up to my neck in horse pucky both figuratively and literally speaking, which means I've been busier than a one-armed paper hangar. With the days rushing by, it just occurred to me that my birthday is next month and I'll be "gulp" 70 years old.
Here's the deal: I'm thinking about starting a breakfast/coffee/bar business called "Cooters". All the waitresses have to be 70 years old or over and wear white t-shirts with the word "Cooters" in bright red lettering. The lettering will have to be placed slightly lower on the t-shirt to accommodate the natural aging process of the servers.
Coffee, bloody Mary's, and mimosas will be served along with scrumptious breakfast cuisine. I have all sorts of ideas for an extensive, healthy, tasty menu. In addition, to set the mood, there will be cool jazz playing in the background, and Itsme can showcase her watercolor paintings in the restaurant.
What d'ya think about that y'all?
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
Valentine
 |
| Buzi |
Today marks the day I've had Buzi for exactly one year. She's come a long way in a year, having been abandoned in the dead of winter by her previous owners and suffering from all sorts of anxiety. Now she's happy, warm, safe, and content.
A previous post explained that Buzi means "kiss" in Polish and is pronounced Boojee. Buzi will always be my Valentine cat because of the month she came to live with me.
Of course I had to take a picture to share with all of you. She wasn't at all happy with the flower around her neck, but posed briefly for a photo op.
I'll always miss Bear. He was such a tough guy cat and was my constant pal for 11 years, but "The Booj" has wheedled her way into my heart and has become the diva of our home.
Be sure to adopt an unwanted animal. There are so many out there looking for someone to love them. February is the month of love and Valentine's day. Give an animal a good home.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Ode to Winter: Stuck
Driving to the barn today was not so very nice.
The fog was thick, the roads were slick,
and covered with black ice.
But worst of all was cleaning stalls
with temps a minus three.
"Oh great!" I exclaimed, "It's freezing cold
and now I have to pee."
I found a spot in the corner of the stall
for needed privacy,
so I dropped my drawers,
relieved myself, then tried to leave the scene.
"Oh no!" I shrieked, "My butt's stuck to the wall
of this makeshift horse latrine."
The fog was thick, the roads were slick,
and covered with black ice.
But worst of all was cleaning stalls
with temps a minus three.
"Oh great!" I exclaimed, "It's freezing cold
and now I have to pee."
I found a spot in the corner of the stall
for needed privacy,
so I dropped my drawers,
relieved myself, then tried to leave the scene.
"Oh no!" I shrieked, "My butt's stuck to the wall
of this makeshift horse latrine."
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Horse Pucky Advice: Clip Joint
Dear Horse Pucky,
I share an office with another person. This person has the disgusting habit of clipping his nails at work. The clippings land on my desk and sometimes in my coffee. I've tried hinting about this through body language, but the clippings seem to hurtle their way onto my desk at various times of the day. What should I do?
~Clip Joint
Dear CJ,
How gross! First I'd talk with this moron and tell him that not only is his nail clipping habit tacky and offensive in a workplace environment, but it's hygienically unacceptable. If that doesn't work, talk to his supervisor. If that doesn't work, I'll be happy to send you a bag of Horse Pucky so you can leave individual dried horse poops on his desk, along with a gift certificate to have his nails professionally manicured at a local nail spa.
~ Horse Pucky
I share an office with another person. This person has the disgusting habit of clipping his nails at work. The clippings land on my desk and sometimes in my coffee. I've tried hinting about this through body language, but the clippings seem to hurtle their way onto my desk at various times of the day. What should I do?
~Clip Joint
Dear CJ,
How gross! First I'd talk with this moron and tell him that not only is his nail clipping habit tacky and offensive in a workplace environment, but it's hygienically unacceptable. If that doesn't work, talk to his supervisor. If that doesn't work, I'll be happy to send you a bag of Horse Pucky so you can leave individual dried horse poops on his desk, along with a gift certificate to have his nails professionally manicured at a local nail spa.
~ Horse Pucky
Friday, January 4, 2013
Numb Christmas
Most of the time I try to make Horse Pucky blog posts light and entertaining, hoping for a smile or even a good laugh, but not today.
Christmas with family was lovely, but it was seriously marred by the devasting tragedy that occurred in Irondequoit, NY. Two dead West Webster fire fighters, two seriously wounded, and nine homes burned beyond repair.
My son-in-law, Hugh, is a volunteer fire fireman and chaplain for the West Webster Fire Department. The call came in at 5:30 am Christmas Eve morning. Hugh was at home getting ready to don his firefighter clothing, then run out the door. He decided to stop and urinate before leaving the house. Had he not done that, he would have been the first fireman at the scene and shot by the sniper who was waiting to wipe out the whole batallion.
I cry for joy that Hugh's life was saved by moments. I weep for Mike Chiapperini and Tomacz Kaczowka and their families.The other two wounded firefigfhters are slowly recovering at Strong Memorial Hospital, I knew them all.
The big question is, how can a mentally unstable man, William Spengler, Jr. be let out of prison when he murdered his 92 year old grandmother by bludgeoning her to death with a hammer, striking her 36 times? Christmas Eve he set his house on fire, a car, shot his sister, leaving her in the house to burn beyond recognition, then called 911 to set up an ambush for the West Webster volunteer firemen. His goal was to wipe out the whole batallion; a total of 30 men.
There is something seriously wrong with our system. I'm devasted by this and will be for a long time to come. Thanks for allowing me to vent. It helps, but not much.
Embrace the ones you love. Tell them you love them. Life is fragile. PLEASE do have a Happy New Year. I send my love to all of you who read this and those who don't.
Christmas with family was lovely, but it was seriously marred by the devasting tragedy that occurred in Irondequoit, NY. Two dead West Webster fire fighters, two seriously wounded, and nine homes burned beyond repair.
My son-in-law, Hugh, is a volunteer fire fireman and chaplain for the West Webster Fire Department. The call came in at 5:30 am Christmas Eve morning. Hugh was at home getting ready to don his firefighter clothing, then run out the door. He decided to stop and urinate before leaving the house. Had he not done that, he would have been the first fireman at the scene and shot by the sniper who was waiting to wipe out the whole batallion.
I cry for joy that Hugh's life was saved by moments. I weep for Mike Chiapperini and Tomacz Kaczowka and their families.The other two wounded firefigfhters are slowly recovering at Strong Memorial Hospital, I knew them all.
The big question is, how can a mentally unstable man, William Spengler, Jr. be let out of prison when he murdered his 92 year old grandmother by bludgeoning her to death with a hammer, striking her 36 times? Christmas Eve he set his house on fire, a car, shot his sister, leaving her in the house to burn beyond recognition, then called 911 to set up an ambush for the West Webster volunteer firemen. His goal was to wipe out the whole batallion; a total of 30 men.
There is something seriously wrong with our system. I'm devasted by this and will be for a long time to come. Thanks for allowing me to vent. It helps, but not much.
Embrace the ones you love. Tell them you love them. Life is fragile. PLEASE do have a Happy New Year. I send my love to all of you who read this and those who don't.
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