At last! A memorable gubernatorial debate right here in upstate New York! And on local television too! There are seven political parties represented for the job of New York State Governor.
The first two parties are all too familiar. After listening to their usual same-old-do-nothing-no-ideas rhetoric, I mentally tuned out all but three candidates. Those three were very intriguing and are starred below.
1. Democratic Party: Andrew Cuomo, with his running mate, our ever-popular, Rochester Mayor, Bob Duffy. A well-oiled political machine. A little too slick for my taste.
2. Republican Party: Carl Paladino.Don't know who his running mate is. In fact, I never even heard of Paladino before this election. After hearing Paladino in the debate, his running mate would be smart to keep running...all the way to some foreign border town, perhaps Canada. Sorry, lightly.
*3. Anti-Prohibition Party: Kirsten Davis, the Manhattan Madam. I really like her. She's smart!
4. Freedom Party: Charlie Barron. Wasn't impressed at all.
5. Green Party: Howie Hawkins. I think he's had a bit too much green tea. He may even wear green underwear.
*6. Libertarian Party: Warren Redlich...This guy had some good ideas.
And, last but not least...
*7. Rent-Is-Too-Damn-High Party: Jimmy McMillan. He's for the "little guy" who's struggling to pay rent in New York City 'cause "The rent is too damn high!"
I like what Kristen Davis has to say. She wants more charter schools. Me too. She wants to legalize marijuana and prostitution. Me too. During the debate, she stayed on track when a question was asked, answering with confidence, without a lot of horse pucky. My favorite statement from her is, "Politicians are the worst prostitutes in the state. I may be the only person sitting on this stage able to deal with them." I say, "AMEN!"
Warren Redlich wants to get rid of unnecessary committees that cost taxpayers beaucoup bucks. There's a transportation commitee with three guys, who meet three times a month with no accountability, each making an annual salary of $100,000 = $300,000. Redlich said, "Jimmy, Howie, and I would charge a total of $300, a six-pack of beer, and a pizza, 'cause that's all the committee is worth...if that much"
Next gubernatorial election, I'm going to start The Horse Pucky Party and run for Governor of New York State. My motto: If you really care about this state...don't hesitate...vote for someone who can sling it better than anybody. Whaddaya' think folks? Do I get your vote?
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Good Old Days Weren't So Groovy
For those of us, (especially you women) who think the "good old days" were better, take a peek at these:
Yipes!!! These make me want to gag before I go on a wild rampage. I hope all you young whipper snappers
out there appreciate what us old timers did to eradicate female oppression. I'm still workin' on it.
And that ain't no horse pucky!
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Buffalo Pansies
Bring Jim Kelly back...as an owner! The current owner of the Buffalo Bills, Ralph Wilson will be 92 on October 17th. It shows. At least, management finally let Trent Edwards go. Thank goodness. Trent throws like a girl. (Sorry ladies.) On a bad day, I can throw a football farther and faster than Trent and I'm old enough to be his grandmother.
It has been rumored that our neighbors across the big pond will be picking The Bills up for $2.98 plus tax. Get your passports ready, guys. Canada is waiting.
Maybe I should take over the Buffalo Bills. We'll call the team, The Buffalo Pansies or maybe they should be called The Buffalo Pansies now. Or...maybe we should just donate them to Canada. Whaddya think? Tuesday, September 28, 2010
10:10 on 10:10
My lovely daughter, Teri, and my handsome future son-in-law, Mark, are getting married in Key West, Florida on October 10, 2010 at 10:10 in the morning, with the festivities ending at 10:10 at night.
I'm planning on partying hearty next week. One of two things are going to happen. I'll probably need an ambulance when the week is over or I'll get arrested...or both. Wish you could all be there.
 |
| Key West |
There's a Friday night bash on the 8th at the Rusty Anchor with close friends and family. Owners of the Hemingway House are letting Teri and Mark use the famous historic landmark for the rehearsal dinner Saturday night. Then...ta-da...next day is the big event!
The Sunday wedding will be on the beach, following a morning reception at the KW Yacht Club 'til 4:00 p.m. From 4:00 to 10:10 p.m. there'll be a Key West pig roast at Durty Harry's bar complex. (Yes, "Durty" is spelled correctly.) To top off the celebration, right at 10:10 p.m., a fireworks display will light up Mallory Square and part of Cuba.
I'm planning on partying hearty next week. One of two things are going to happen. I'll probably need an ambulance when the week is over or I'll get arrested...or both. Wish you could all be there.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Paraprosdokian
Every once in a while people try to stump me with a word. A former teaching colleague sent me the word, paraprosdokian. And I was stumped!
The word paraprosdokian isn't in the compact Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary I have sitting on my desk. It's probably in the 50 pound, 20,000 page dictionary I have on the bookshelf, in the basement. Rather than schlepping that 50 pound monster up two flights of stairs, I decided to do an internet search for the word.
Paraprosdokian means: A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a phrase or sentence. According to Wikipedia, it's a Greek word meaning beyond expectation. It's frequently used by humorists, satirists, and comedians for both affect and effect.
Here are some paraprosdokian examples:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (How true!)
2. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (A great one-liner to throw at your spouse, soulmate, significant other, then watch the sparks fly!)
3. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. (If the truth be known, our pets really train us. In most instances, it's a good idea. )
4. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" (Sounds like something one of you guys would ask.)
Wish I could take credit for the four paraprosdokians listed here, but I can't, and I have no way of finding out where these came from. My question to all of you: Have any of you ever heard of paraprosdokian?
The word paraprosdokian isn't in the compact Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary I have sitting on my desk. It's probably in the 50 pound, 20,000 page dictionary I have on the bookshelf, in the basement. Rather than schlepping that 50 pound monster up two flights of stairs, I decided to do an internet search for the word.
Paraprosdokian means: A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a phrase or sentence. According to Wikipedia, it's a Greek word meaning beyond expectation. It's frequently used by humorists, satirists, and comedians for both affect and effect.
Here are some paraprosdokian examples:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (How true!)
2. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (A great one-liner to throw at your spouse, soulmate, significant other, then watch the sparks fly!)
3. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. (If the truth be known, our pets really train us. In most instances, it's a good idea. )
4. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" (Sounds like something one of you guys would ask.)
Wish I could take credit for the four paraprosdokians listed here, but I can't, and I have no way of finding out where these came from. My question to all of you: Have any of you ever heard of paraprosdokian?
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