Thursday, April 16, 2009

Spring Cleaning My Teeth


Every six months I get my teeth cleaned. It just happens to spring into April and fall into October...Spring and Halloween. Not that those two times of the year have anything in common, I just thought I'd mention it.

Think I'll bring my dentist a gift bag of horse pucky. He's really a funny guy with a great sense of humor. In fact, I actually like going to the dentist for that reason. I just wish his dental hygienists were as fun as he is. They poke and prod with that poke and prod tool they use mumbling numbers to another assistant who groans when Nurse Pokenprod calls out numbers over 5, making me want to exchange my teeth for a set of steel bear traps.

Of course the horse pucky may not be a good idea. When I have to have a tooth drilled, I get novacaine. I get my favorite flavor...pina colada...no kidding. Pina colada flavored novacaine. Dr. Bob may decide to flavor his novacaine with horse pucky to make me feel like I'm at the barn, which is one my favorite places to be. He's very accommodating that way. I'd still rather have the pina colada flavor.

One of the reasons I go to Dr. Bob is because he has a sign outside the office that reads, "We cater to cowards." And he does. And that's why I go there even if I have to deal with Nurse Pokenprod.

6 comments:

itsmecissy said...

OMG, you get 5's and over? You need to get SERIOUS about your flossing girl!

I once had 5's (always way in the back) but now I never have anything over a 3. So get to flossing and rinsing with a good mouthwash (I buy Listerine by the gallon).

I get my cleanings in April and October too, after Easter and before Halloween (that's a Good Thing).

Pam Beers said...

That was last year and only a couple of 5s in the back. And you have to realize, this is a horse pucky blog where a lot of numbers are exaggerated to make a point.

Seriously, this year I had 3s as the highest number and only a couple in the back. So I'm doin' good. Thanks for your concern.

itsmecissy said...

You knew I was just kidding right?

Pam Beers said...

I thought you were serious, so I went out bought ten gallons of listerine and enough floss to make a string bikini.

itsmecissy said...

HA! Here on the Left Coast we call string bikinis anal floss . . .

Pam Beers said...

LOL...anal floss! Gotta remember that when I go visit my Mom in Florida (Right Coast)the end of May. You are too funny!