Horse Pucky Award of the Week #1

I wasn't going to do this, but I have to. It just seems so appropriate. The Horse Pucky Award of the Week goes to Don H. Twietmeyer, Esq., CPA; Chairman, Board of Directors; Rochester General Hospital Foundation. If his title wasn't so long, maybe he could get his head out of his you-know-what long enough to realize what a huge blunder he made.

Mr. Twietmeyer is being sent the Horse Pucky Award of the week for his insensitive letter sent to my deceased husband requesting a donation to the Rochester General Hospital Foundation.

Last year, over $2000 was donated to the Rochester General Hospital Lipsom Cancer Center in memory of my husband,Tom. Thoughtless letters like this make me wonder if the corporate right hand even knows it has a left hand.

Rochester General Hospital was wonderful in treating Tom through his difficult illness. As a result, I expected more from them. I was wrong. Their biggest mistake was partnering with a fundraising firm out of Henderson, Nevada called IDC. These firms have about as much sensitivity as a brillo pad on a baby's butt.

If RGH has to do fundraising at all, how about hiring a local fundraising firm to keep the money in Rochester, where it can go back into our community.

Because IDC is in Nevada, the percentage they make off this fundraising campaign goes into their back pocket. They don't have to pay taxes in Nevada. The money is probably siphoned off into some account in the Caribbean where it goes to fund drug trafficking.

I won't be sending two cents to Rochester General Hospital unless I give directly to the Lipsom Cancer Center. The bag of horse pucky is ready, Mr. Twietmeyer! What's your address?

Horse Pucky and Politics

Horse pucky and politics are one in the same. Notice which picture is larger. There's a reason for that!

I am so sick of the political scene. I voted for Obama. So what! It's the same old horse pucky, different day. Yeah, I like Barrack, but I'd like it a whole lot better if he'd get up and say, "I can't really change anything. That's up to you. What I can do is clean house."

Stimulus package my lilly white butt. I'll give 'em a stimulus package. I have an electric wok. I'll just take the metal rod that plugs into the wok and stick it where the sun don't shine. Then I'll take the electric cord attached to the rod and plug that into the electrical outlet. Could turn into an interesting outcome.

Granted, we need to do something, but how about doing something that's right. Sometimes doing nothing for a while, so issues can be intelligently thought out, seems the right thing to do. I guess the operative word there is intelligent.

I'm telling you, politicians are all in this together. It's a conspiracy against the American people. At the end of their terms in office they retire with full pay and benefits at our expense. Who else can do that?

It's more horse pucky as usual!

All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Life got really exciting for a while. I thought I had struck gold...literally. I was on the way to a huge fortune.

I was rummaging through an old jewelry box and came across a $20 gold coin with a liberty head on one side and an eagle on the other. It was dated 1795. My mother gave it to me 14 years ago. She told me it was real gold and to take good care of it. I usually don't listen to my mother, but this time I did. I tucked the cold coin safely away in my old jewelry box so nothing would happen to it.

Back to the rummaging. I pulled out the coin and thought, 'Man, this has to be really valuable. It's been hanging around the house for 14 years and has a date stamp of 1795.' My heart skipped several beats. Again I thought, 'With the economy being in first gear, and my stocks taking a nosedive, along with my 401K plan, I can really use the money.'

I started to research the value of my coin and found that some rare coins dating back to the 1800's were worth close to $1,000,000. Since my gold coin was dated 1795 it had to be really rare and worth at least $2,000,000.

My mind started to race, along with my heart. I already had big plans for that two million dollars. Then I got hit with a big dose of reality. Additional research showed there were no gold coins minted before 1800. Further research brought me to a screeching halt. It turns out my 1795 coin is a commemorative piece that was manufactured to celebrate the U.S. bicentennial in 1995. It has gold metallic plating over copper. It's total value...maybe $20.

For those of you who were going to be part of my $2M bonanza, you'll just have to wait until I win the lottery. Then again, maybe I can cash my "gold" coin in and we can all go to McDonald's.

Just remember that old proverb, "All that glitters is not gold." Except the golden arches of McD's.

Blue Hair and Bad Driving

It happened again! I was driving along, minding my own business, when someone in front of me with blue hair swerved across two lanes of traffic to make a right hand turn, missng me by a frog's hair. I never noticed the make of car; only the fact that the driver had blue hair.

We all know blue hair means one thing...little old ladies who don't see very well. I'm telling you, I think those blue haired grannies have magic powers. They always manage to miss hitting other vehicles while motoring along, but they're oblivious to the 20 car pile-up they just caused.

What's even more intriguing is the fact they all have blue hair. I think they must go to the same hair dresser while planning their attack during rush hour traffic.

I've learned two things through my harrowing blue hair experiences. One: When I see a driver with blue hair, I take another route. Two: I realize, at 65, I've fallen into little old lady status myself. I just don't have blue hair. I use L'Oreal.

Freezing Your Patooties Off

You've gotta be kidding me! It was 25 degrees outside when this picture was taken. Are these folks really going for a dip in Lake Ontario? Yup, they sure are.

It's cool and zany fun for an excellent cause!

In Rochester, NY we call this the Polar Bear Plunge. It has become one of the most exciting winter events in these parts since we stole Alaska from the Eskimos.

How dare you say we're crazy here in upstate NY! We just get a little cabin fever this time of year and happen to be passionate about special causes. The Polar Bear Plunge at Ontario Beach Park benefits the New York Special Olympics. It's one of our premier fundraising events.

The Polar Bear Plunge has become an annual part of the Lakeside Winter Celebration at Ontario Beach park in Charlotte. People can make a day of it and enjoy all the festival has to offer! For those of you who live in warmer climates, pack up your suitcase and come enjoy the festivities. I'll supply you with hot cocoa, hot toddies, and long underwear.

There are many ways to become involved with the Polar Bear Plunge each year and years to come. Desired opportunities exist for sponsoring, volunteering, and of course plunging!

If you're interested, let me know. You can be a plunger and I'll be a sponsor. You're right, I know I'm a wimp. I like to keep my patooties warm.

C'est L'Amour

An original valentine poem and a dozen long stemmed red roses just for you:

Life is good;

I sure am lucky.

You're the best,

and that's no pucky.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

New Blook Promotion

In case you were actually paying attention, the word "blook" in the title of this blog is not misspelled.

A "blook" is a cross between a blog and a book. In this case it's a compilation of some of the funniest blog posts I've ever read.

In addition to it being a very clever idea, it's one of the most humorous books...er...blooks on the market. Bob Crane's down home humor and dazzling wit make this a must read for everyone.

Cranelegs Pond, the blook can be purchased in email format for only $3.99, for now, as an introductory offer for Bob's many fans. It's going to be published soon, so I suggest you get the email version asap.

For those of you who are last minute Valentine's Day shoppers, this would make a great gift for your sweetie. You can read it together and share a few guffaws.

Be sure you download the email version of Cranelegs Pond, the Blook at http://www.cranelegspond.blogspot.com/ before it goes to publication. I promise it'll be one of the most enjoyable reading experiences you've had in a long time. And that ain't no horse pucky!

Toasted Hearts Equal Amour

Another fun Valentine surprise for your honey is toast stamped with hearts that say "I love you" to go along with the heart shaped eggs you serve.

It's sure to stir up some passionate feelings.

The best part is you can use both items, the heart shaped egg mold and heart stamp, any time you feel the urge to be romantic. Check out the last post to see the egg mold.

Another amorous find from http://www.wonderfullywacky.com/

Show the love of your life how much they're appreciated. You'll be glad you did.

Valentine Breakfast in Bed

Serve your sweetie breakfast in bed with a heart shaped egg on toast. You can even buy a heart stamp to imprint on the toast.

Pictured is a heart shaped mold that will turn an ordinary egg into a romantic bit of morning magic. You can purchase it at http://www.wonderfullywacky.com/

There'll be a lot of ooing and ahing as your honey compliments you on your creative genius.

Stay tuned for more unique valentine ideas.

By the way, if you're not that romantic, and prefer a gag gift, I can sell you a bag of horse pucky in a green and tan plaid gift bag for $7.50, which includes shipping. Believe it or not, I've already sold 11 bags for Valentine's Day. I sure hope the recipients have a sense of humor.

Trivial But Amusing Historic Events

I love trivia. While reading various books on various subjects over varying periods of time, I always come across some interesting tidbits of information…trivial food for thought, all of which make me wonder things such as, how, what, when, where, why, and what if.

Did you know that in:

· 50 A.D. the Romans invented soap? How did they stay clean before that…or did they?

· 453 A.D. Attila the Hun died from a nosebleed on his wedding night? His wife must have been something. I wonder what she looked like?

· 700 A.D. the Chinese invented the brassiere? I’ve spent most of my life putting them on and taking them off. What a nuisance! Good thing I like Chinese food or I'd be hanging on to a huge resentment.

· 1094 gondolas appeared in Venice? Probably because the senior citizens of Venice were finding it more difficult to swim from neighbor to neighbor.

· 1904 a woman was arrested in New York for smoking in public? I wonder what she was smoking. We've come a long way, baby!

It’s fun to jot down trivial, historic events. I get most of them from the newspaper, old textbooks, and a few old friends...some of whom are historical relics themselves.

All types of unique, historic information always conjure up more questions in my mind, which sends me to the archives to do more research, resulting in more writing opportunities and further occasion to spread more horse pucky.