Fender Skirts

Rear wheel detachable fender skirt
on a 1969 Buick Electra 225*

I took a trip down memory lane this weekend because of an email a friend of my vintage sent me. As a result of the email, I began thinking about cars my parents used to own. Does anyone, besides me, remember what a fender skirt is or what they look like?

A fender skirt was used both aesthetically and aerodynamically to enhance the looks and performance of automobiles as early as 1928, but I wasn't born yet. However, I do remember the fifties and sixties when fender skirts were the vogue for car owners.

Fender skirts were often paired with whitewall tires with the length of the skirt changing over time, sort of like female fashions. Before 1950 it was the norm to have all but the very bottom of the tire covered. By the 1960s the "skirts" only covered the top part of the tire. Reminds me of the mini skirts we used to wear.

The last car produced with fender skirts was the 1999-2006 Honda Insight, although the "skirts" are still available for new cars as an aftermarket accessory.

Now that you've had a mini history lesson on fender skirts, I'll have to tell you about my running board story in a not-too-distant future blog post. 

*Picture and history compliments of Wikipedia.  Memories are original.

Empty Box Equals Shrinking Pants

Empty Cookie Box

The blogging community is made up of an interesting, eclectic group of waggish individuals. Itsme is one such delightful person. She had a "Cookies for Captions" contest on her blog "ItsMeCissy", which turned out to be loads of fun. Her blog post is titled Scary Picture...and it is. Check it out.

 Because ItsMe has a generous heart, she sent cookies to all of us who submitted a caption. There were at least two people who wrote more than one caption to be sure they got a box of cookies, but I'm not telling who.

Three of the delectable cookie creations were (yes, were...they're all gone) cranberry-white chocolate-coconut cookies, chocolate chip-walnut cookies, and oatmeal-cinnamon-raisin cookies. Boy, were they ever good! Thanks, ItsMe. You are a super baker!

There's only one major problem. The cookies made my pants shrink. Now I feel like a blivet. For those of you who are too young to know what a blivet is; it's a WW II term which means trying to stuff 10 pounds of horse pucky into a five pound bag. 

Thanks anyway, ItsMe, the cookies were delicious. When is the next contest?

Horse Hair in Your Underwear

My new business is called Itch This, or IT for short. It's become quite popular.

The premise for the business is "payback" to husbands who are unkind and just plain disrespectful to their wives. Here's how it works: I get a call from the wife who is a victim of rudeness. The teary-eyed spouse then puts her husband's underwear in a plastic bag and delivers the bag to my house. My task is to launder the undergarments (boxers, briefs, tee shirts) in a special washing machine designed for dirty, hairy, horse blankets.

Everything (underwear and horse blankets) are washed together, then dried, folded and put into clean garment bags. It's a win-win situation. My horse blankets get cleaned, and the dispirited wife gets retribution along with a few good horse laughs.

The only one who has a problem is the boorish husband who can't figure out why he keeps itching uncontrollably all day.

Is Customer Service Dead?

This is how I felt yesterday.

What in the name of all that is holy has happened to customer service? Yesterday I called a doctor's office to get a fax number so I could send medical records to them. The person on the other end of the phone was a total idiot. Here's how the conversion went:

Other person (idiot): " Dr. XYZ's office." 

Me (Horse Pucky Queen aka Grambo): "Hi, I'm Pam Beers and I need a fax numnber so I can send medical records over to Dr. XYZ."

Other person: "I'm the office manager. The receptionist is off today and she is the one who gives out that information. She'll be back tomorrow."

Me: "You've got to be kidding! Do you mean to tell me you can't give me the fax number because it's not your job!"

Other person: "That's right. You'll have to call back tomorrow."

Me: "That's the most ridiculous, idiotic, horse pucky thing I've ever heard. Let me put it another way, give me the fax number now, or I'll be sure you never work for any doctor ever again."

Other person: The fax number is .....

Me: "Thank you and have a nice day."

I really think customer service is dead. 

A Different Kind of Mouse

Buzi Found a Mouse

Buzi has created a special place in my heart. I 'll always miss Bear because he was one of kind, but Buzi is one of those sweet little girl felines that make your heart melt whenever you look at her face.

Boo has decided she likes being an indoor cat, unlike Bear who was a mighty outdoor hunter of all things furry, feathered, scaly, and otherwise.

Yesterday Buzi became pesky while I was working on the computer. It was a busy writing day and office day, but she doesn't understand "busy; she just wanted to play. I told her, in jest, to go find a mouse. And she did, on the other computer.

It's a different kind of mouse. She's a different kind of cat. It was a cute photo op I couldn't resist.