Entrails in the Sky

Jon  and I were sitting on the front porch watching the jets overhead. It was one of those beautiful late spring mornings complete with clear blue sky and bright sunshine. All was peaceful and quiet when I said, "What a great day for the pilots to fly! And look at those entrails in the sky!"

Keep in mind, I'm an English major who spent part of my teaching career creatively educating adolescents on the importance of good grammar.

Jon started laughing.  I said, "What's so funny?" He continued laughing then said, "You're the English major, think about it." "Think about what?!"  I was getting annoyed. "I think you meant contrails, not entrails. Those are contrails being emitted from the jets. If you're seeing entrails, the pilot's in a lot of trouble."

My retort was, "Oh yeah, I knew that." Then I thought, 'Contrails...water vapor, not entrails...exposed intestines.'

Every time we spot a jet flying with a long thin artificial cloud behind it, Jon snickers and says, "Hey Pam, look up in the sky, there's another one of those entrails."

Jet on over to Jenny's for more Alphabet Thursday "E" words.

X Chromosome

"X" is for x chromosome.

Okay folks here we go, right into our first genetics lesson. Or is it biology? Maybe it's math. Well now, let's see, two x chromosomes make a girl. One x and one y chromosome makes a boy. Sounds simple enough and it is, except for one thing. There's a huge difference between males and females. Aside from the obvious physical contrasts there are definitely some serious flaws in the x y chromosome.

Don' t get me wrong, I think men are wonderful. They just think differently than women, which is probably a good thing unless they don't think at all.

Let me state three examples:

1. Driving along in the countryside, a woman spots a lovely crystal clear stream with a pair of ducks paddling along peacefully, and comments, "Pull over Honey, I'd love to get a picture of that and send it to the grandchildren. Man, affectionately referred to as "Honey", says, "If I had my gun with me, we'd be having duck dinner tonight. Oh, by the way, I need to stop and go pee in the stream."

2. When discussing human  mortality,  a woman usually opts for discussions on spirituality, religion, or personal faith formation. Men, on the other hand, want to decide which daring adventure they should consider before the end of life, such as alligator wrestling or sky diving or maybe even bungee-jumping over the Grand Canyon.

3. Last, but not least, my idea of flowers, as an anniversary gift, is a dozen long stemmed red roses, not a bag of King Arthur flour so I can make chocolate chip cookies.

There you have it, folks, combine, genetics, biology, and math and you have a recipe for...uh...chocolate chip cookies.

Exit over to Jenny's and find more exciting blogs.

Jon Terrific

Jon Terrific

Remember Tom Terrific? Well, meet Jon Terrific. For those of you who don't remember the former, Tom Terrific ran in a series of five- minute cartoons created specifically for the Captain Kangaroo show from 1957 - 1959.

Tom Terrific was drawn in simple cartoon style featuring a boy hero who lived in a treehouse and could transform himself into anything he wanted to thanks to his magic funnel-shaped thinking cap, which also enhanced his intelligence.

Enter Jon Terrific. There is a remarkable similarity to the original TT character.  Jon doesn't live in a treehouse, but he has a house nestled in the trees. When he wears his funnel-shaped hat, he magically turns into a pro golfer. Just this morning, Jon's intelligence was evident when he agreed with me regarding my political views, which doesn't happen very often. And he's my hero...and a really really good sport.

This is no horse pucky. The funnel hat really works. So, ladies, if you want the man in your life to create magic for you or at least make you laugh, be sure you put a funnel cap on his head.

Day After Thanksgiving

Jon and I

This shot was takent the day after Thanksgiving, which just happened to fall on my grandson, Zane's 17th birthday. Needless to say, we were having a good time, especially me.

 Believe it or not I had nothing alcoholic to drink, but could be suffering from food overload. Thanksgiving was filled with an abundance of fresh food from the harvest and a yummy turkey we all enjoyed. My son-in-law cooked the turkey, my daughter baked pumpkin pies, and the rest of the family brought their signature side dishes.

Day after Thanksgiving: Zane wanted his favorite meal for his birthday; "Grammy 's"  homemade sauce and meatballs. And that's what he got. The sauce was made with fresh tomatoes from the garden, other fresh veggies, and loads of meat (homemade Italian sausage, grilled spare ribs, and my special meatball recipe). 

After all that food, my grandaughter, Ivey, let me borrow her faux fox hat to try on. Jon said, "Cute, just don't go out in the woods with that on your head." He's always looking out for my safety as well as being lovingly supportive of me. Secretly, I think he wonders why he ever got mixed up with The Horse Pucky Queen.

A Real Groaner

Jon told me yesterday that A. Weiner, Representative for NYC's 9th district and the brunt of the latest sexting scandal, got a job at Oscar Mayer. See what I have to deal with!

Sounds like someone is full of horse pucky.

Purses vs. Wallets or Venus vs. Mars or Women vs. Men

Jon was commenting on how heavy my purse is. Then he said, "How come men can carry a wallet and have everything they need tucked away in their back pocket, while you women need a huge purse where you can never really find anything anyway, then spend tons of time looking for your wallet to pay for whatever it is you have to pay for?" I very simply said, "I use my purse as a weapon when I'm not fishing out tissue packs for your runny nose, cough drops for your scratchy throat, or my eyeglasses to better see your handsome face."

At this point, the conversation ended quite abruptly as Jon's eyes glazed over. I'm not sure if I got him on the purse-as-a-weapon part of our conversation or the handsome face part. All I can tell you is, my heavy purse has never been mentioned again.