Little Piggy

Those NFL players who kick around that "little piggy" look like a bunch of wrestlers-gone-bad out there on the field since the substitute refs have replaced the on-strike "zebras". 

I'll admit I don't know a whole lot about the rules and regulations of football, but I think can don a black and white stripe shirt and make better calls than the substitutes calling the games now; especially the game last night between the Seahawks and the Packers.  

As for the players, they're still making their individual millions even if there is a bad call or a lost game, so I don't feel too sorry for them. One of my big concerns is the rate of injuries and how  serious they've been.

Let's get with the program, guys. You know how to play football without trying to kill your opponent. Do you really need a referee to tell you that?! The zebras should be there to make those close line calls, not break up brawls.

So far what I've seen are are teams of neanderthals kicking around a little piggy, while the zebras are running around in their stripes not paying any attention to vicious uncalled hits. I tell you it's a zoo gone mad.

Time to get out the golf clubs or go on a trail ride.. The weather's great! 

Horse Pucky Invention

Yesterday I talked about my new invention for horse pucky. Today I'll tell you what it is.

I figured out I can take frozen horse pucky and spray paint it with two different colors of flourescent paint; bright pink for the ladies, and neon yellow for the guys. "Why", you ask? So that you can see them in the snow when you play golf in the winter. Think about it. It's a win-win situation.

The golf courses can stay open during the winter months, employees can enjoy full pay insead of collecting unemployment, and golfers can still play golf. At the end of 18 holes the golfers can throw their horse pucky golf balls out onto the fairway. When the horse pucky defrosts in the spring, the course is automatically and organically fertilized, saving money for expensive fertilizers and the greens keepers oodles of time.

Pro shops can sell frozen horse pucky in recycled egg cartons; one dozen for the ladies in hot pink and one dozen for the gents in neon yellow. Storage is easy. They can be kept in a tool shed so they don't defrost.

So far there are two interested buyers. This could change the whole concept of the golfing industry as we know it. Next...winter polo!