Friday, April 13, 2012

Horse Pucky Advice: Like It, Lump It, or Trim It

Dear Horse Pucky,

My husband and I live in a gaited community in Florida. We have a swimming pool in the back yard with a stone wall on either side of the pool for privacy. Our neighbor has a flowering tree with branches that hang over our stone wall. The damn tree drops flower blossoms into the pool and all over our patio, making a huge mess. 

We've asked the neighbor to cut his tree down and he refuses, saying the tree was there long before we were and we can like it or lump it. We reported him to the homeowners association and they said to settle the situation with our neighbor ourselves.

Maybe we'll sneak over there at night and put Roundup around the tree in hopes it'll die. What is the appropriate way of handling this maddening situation?

~Treed Off

Dear Treed,

What do you have against trees? Forget the Roundup!

Personally, I think flower blossoms in the pool are romantic. I'd go buy some floating candles, put them in the pool with the flower blossoms, and have a romantic tryst in the pool, with my husband, when the sun goes down. Don't forget the champagne. 

OR, you could invite your neighbors over for a pool cleaning party. OR, you could agree to trim the flowering branches that hang over the wall on your side of the patio. In any case, communicate softly and carry a bottle of bubbly with you when you start neighborly conversation.

~Horse Pucky



Randy Johnson said...

As soon as I saw the term "gaited community" I knew we were in trouble. I mean a place where everyone walks in a particular way is bound to have its problems. In fact I would think intrusive tree droppings would be the very least that could go wrong. I just say saunter, or lope, or amble along like the rest of the community, and for goodness sake try to get along.

lightly said...

tell the neighbor if he don't trim the tree you will walk past his place naked whenever he has guests

Pamela Beers. said...

Those gaited communities are something, aren't they? I know someone who lives in one and they starch and iron their boxer shorts. There you have it.

If I do that, lightly, he'll never trim his tree. As usual, you have a different slant on the whole situation.

Here in upstate NY we help one another shovel out during the winter months, and share our garden abundance with one another.

I think the sun does strange things to people in Florida. Either that or they don't have enought to do.

itsmecissy said...

It has nothing to do with the sun, people in Florida ARE strange (Newt excluded of course).

Pamela Beers. said...

itsme...and my two children who live and work there.

Randy Johnson said...

Careful there Lightly, your plan could backfire. Depending on Ms. Treed Off’s physique, it might encourage Mr. Tree Owner to fertilize the darn thing and get it to bloom even more! Or worse it could start an “I’ll trim my tree when you trim your bush” feud, and as you can... hey, I may have stumbled onto a solution.

Pamela Beers. said...

WHAT'S THIS!? "I'll trim my tree, if you trim your bush." Is Horse Pucky going a little "porno" thanks to Mr. Randy? ;)

Randy Johnson said...

“WHAT'S THIS!?” ...Oops, sometimes I write comments here just to keep the censor on her toes. I can’t help it if she doesn’t run these things by Rick Santorum first. Besides, Lightly was the one who told the poor lady to whip her clothes off. I was just warning her of the possible consequences of going all Lady Godiva in the 21st Century ;)

itsmecissy said...

I'm baking cookies this weekend!!!!

lightly said...

censors be damned, if you brave enough or dumb enough to do it then i want pictures.

now that we have naked and trim and bush all in one place everyone searching for porn is going to find this blog.

they are going to be very disappointed

Ev Newton (Newt) said...

Wait. Yo! itsme, wait. Who says I'm not strange. I have worked hard to destroy a carefully constructed reputation, and you go blithely paving things over? I AM strange.

But not as strange as Randy.

Oh, BTW. In order to publish this comment, I need to type in some words to prove I'm not a robot. This time the words are - ready? - RickYou Armand.

So, Pam - who's this Armand guy and what did he ever do wrong to you?

Pamela Beers. said...

Oh boy, itsme. I can smell them now.

Ev, in case you haven't noticed, this whole group is strange, but cute and loveable.

Armand used to be my hair stylist. Now my youngest daughter is a stylist and I go to her.

lightly, just call me The Streak. Ha!