Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Forever Sunbeams

BUZI

It never gets easier. I feel like someone pulled my heart out of my chest, then stomped on it. I had to say, "Goodbye, dear friend," as I cradled her soft chin in my hand and told her, "I love you, Buzi."

My beloved feline pal Buzi was humanely euthanized on June 10, 2014. I only had her for two years and four months, knowing when I brought her into my home she had a huge tumor in her abdomen, as well as other health issues. I wanted her life, whatever time she had left, to be peaceful, comfortable, and most of all filled with love. She was not cared for by her previous owners, and then left abandoned, where she was found six months later living under a porch. I'm amazed she survived that ordeal, and so is the veterinarian. We're not sure how old she is, but she came to live with me on February 1, 2012. I named her Buzi because it means "kiss" in Polish.

Buzi and I had quiet time every morning on the front porch, in all four seasons. I had a cup of coffee in one hand and petted Buzi with the other hand as she sat and purred beside me. When I came home from the barn, she always greeted me at the door with her happy-to-see-you "Meow" greeting. During the remainder of the day she curled up on the divan in my office, unless there was a sunbeam on the floor. At night she slept on the king size bed always purring beside me.

I miss her paw prints on my bedspread, her loyal and loving companionship, her very sweet disposition, and all things that made her so special. Making that final decision was awful. I wanted one more day, just one more day. But the tumor took it's toll. Buzi couldn't eat or drink anymore. It was time. She was so weak. Her last moments were lounging in a sunbeam near the flower garden, before her final trip to the veterinarian.

At least I am comforted to know she was totally loved in her final years, and that we will be together again on the other side of the rainbow. Right now I'm sure she's napping in her favorite, forever sunbeam.

Think I'll go to Jenny's for a hug.

20 comments:

June Moore said...

So sorry to hear this. Buzi was so sweet. I know you loved her very much and will miss her very much.

The Quiet Riot said...

She'll live on in a little protected place near your heart. Some day, you'll be able to think of her and smile without the tears. ((((hugs))))

Randy Johnson said...

I think the best that any domesticated creature can hope for is to spend their final years with a caring human companion. Despite her rough start in life, you were Buzi’s best hope come true… A reward for the both of you.

Stacia said...

Oh, this breaks my heart. Our animal friends are so very special. I'm sorry about your sweet Buzi, and I'm sending hugs all the way from Jenny's.

carol l mckenna said...

Oh lots of hugs to you ~ such an adorable kitty and wonderful photo ~ Hard to lose our furry friends ~ they are so wonderful ~ Glad you share time together even if it was short ~ More hugs to you ~ xoxo

artmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)

fredamans said...

My deepest condolences.

Lmkazmierczak said...

My heart goes out to you....I'm still missing my Tess especially when a can of tuna gets opened in my house....even hubby commented recently and he wasn't all that attached. She lives on in your heart. XOXO

Grantham Lynn said...

Oh I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.
Thanks for coming over and seeing my Letter F fences. I went to your other blog first. I am following you.

Valerie said...

It takes a long time to get over losing a pet. I can still shed tears when I remember my cat and the way she put her paws round my neck as if to say I love you. She did that on her last day ... the tears are brimming up just thinking about it.

Melody said...

It breaks my heart reading this post. Here's a super tight hug for you.

Pam Beers. said...

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! Your words of kindness have been so comforting. I can't begin to tell you how special this is to me.

Love and hugs to you all. ~Pam

Sue said...

Sounds like you were a wonderful blessing to her, and she to you.

=)

Viki said...

I'm sorry about Buzi. It is so hard to have to let go of a beloved pet.

cj Schlottman said...

This is a very touching post, and I applaud you for sharing your grief so openly. The hole in your heart is just the right size for a kitten...

Jenny said...

Oh!

Buzi sounds like an amazing friend. Even though we appreciate the time we had, it is so painful to let them go.

Sending you a giant hug of understanding and compassion from Arizona!

Thanks for sharing your sadness with us.

Sometimes the telling begins the healing.

Peace.

A++++

etsky ykste said...

I'm sorry about Buzi but i'm sure she was happy to be your companion.It's hard to lose family so i wish you the best.

itsmecissy said...

I'm so sorry Pam, and you are right it never gets easier. Buzi had her best life with you and will be waiting for you -along with Bear- at the Rainbow Bridge.

itsmecissy said...

Sorry I've been gone so long Pam.

itsmecissy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Splendid Little Stars said...

Oh! so sorry! I do know how that feels.
What a sweet kitty!