Art Cuts

A is for Art.

Kudos to the people who privately support the arts. Supporting culture was in the hands of the government for a while until Uncle Sam got the brilliant idea to spend taxpayer dollars on things that blow people up.

Now art support is primarily accomplished through private donations. The money is used to pay the painters whose impressions and expressions are difficult to interpret unless you stand on your head or squint real hard.

Don't get me wrong, I love the fine arts. I also like different types of paintings. I'm still trying to figure out a Picasso print someone gave me. Pablo's print looks like a bad dream caused by eating too much chorizo pizza with poblano chilis, and cheap wine.

Maybe I'll just take off my glasses and stand on my head.

Horse Pucky Advice: Less is Best

Dear Horse Pucky,

A good friend of mine is very attractive. She has natural beauty without need of any makeup. The problem? She LOVES to wear makeup and always overdoes the eyeliner, making her look like Rocky Raccoon. Should I tell her she looks like Rocky or just keep my mouth shut? 

~Shut My Mouth

Dear SMM,

If she's a good friend, tell her in a nice way she looks much prettier without all the eyeliner. If she gets persnickety about the whole thing, buy her a pair of furry ear muffs to go along with the Rocky Raccoon look.

~Horse Pucky 

Horse Pucky Shirts for Christmas

Jon wearing his HP shirt.

It wasn't my idea, honest. Three people ordered seven  Horse Pucky shirts to be embroidered and gift wrapped by Christmas. Jon is the proud recipient of one of the shirts, which he wanted for Christmas. What do you get a guy who has everything? A Horse Pucky shirt!

At least you get an idea of what the HP shirts look like when someone is wearing one.

The Granger Homestead Carriage Committee ordered a shirt to put in their horse-themed gift basket this year. It's the first time the basket of goodies received a $200 bid. The proceeds are used to preserve the historic Homestead in Canandaigua, NY. I'd like to think the HP shirt had something to do with the generous bid, especially since everyone thought it was hysterical.

Believe me, the shirts get lots of attention and loads of laughs. It's a fun and unique gift.

Of course, it helps to have a handsome man modeling the HP designer apparel. Jon can't wait to go mall walking to see how many women will notice his Horse Pucky shirt. I may have created a monster.

I Won!

one angle of garden

Newport Highlands, the 200 unit  townhouse community I live in, had a garden contest this year. I won the contest. It's kind of a hollow victory in lieu of my recent loss, but it's a bright spot in my heart where the flowers bloom and the sun shines in memory of Bear.

My feline pal was always right beside me chasing leaves, digging in the dirt, "helping" me plant flowers, and sniffing the horse pucky. He was the best.

Back to the contest. I won for two main reasons; #1: I had about 200 pounds of horse pucky mulched into the soil and I watered twice a day. The plants loved it. #2: It's not that my garden is so great, it's that everyone else's either dried out due to lack of rain in these parts and they gave up, or they didn't have Bear helping them, or both.

Anyway, I won a $100 gift certificate to Wegmans. When I found out I had won, I was going to run out and get Bear more treats. Instead, I plan on fixing a buffet lunch for our wonderfully supportive maintenance and office staff on Monday in memory of Bear. Life is good.

Horses Are My Bag

I've been around horses since I was eight years old. For those who don't get it, I'll tell you ...it's an addiction.

People who have known me for years understand it when I pull a tissue out of my pocket and hay falls out. For those who have just met me, I have to fill them in on my preoccupation with equines. They still don't get it, but that's okay.

Just to give you an example of what being a horseperson really means I'll site some examples:

• I am totally grossed out when I find a human hair in my food or in the bathtub, but not bothered at all by horse hair on my clothes, in my hair, or on my dinner plate.
• The back of my pickup truck looks like a rolling tack room complete with riding helmet, horse blankets, and hay cubes.
• I say "whoa" when I apply the brakes to my pickup truck and pat the dashboard saying, "good girl".
• I love pickup trucks.
• The only time I go to the grocery store is when I run out of carrots and apples.
• I have to dump shavings out of my shoes before going to marketing meetings.

You get the picture.

At least I own stock. The only problem is, my stock has eight legs. Horses are definitely my bag.

Horse Pucky Award of the Week #2

A-n-d...the horse pucky award of the week goes to ultatraditionalist bishop Richard Williamson who has said the Holocaust was exaggerated and that no Jews died in the Nazi gas chambers. What planet has he been on?! Even Vatican officials are among his many critics.

No wonder people are leaving the Catholic church in droves. Too bad, because there are many sensitive, caring clergy who have hearts rather than mortar at their core.

All you Roman potentates need to a get good dose of reality before we have nothing left of what the Church was originally intended to provide...spiritual direction.

Horse Pucky Award of the Week #1

I wasn't going to do this, but I have to. It just seems so appropriate. The Horse Pucky Award of the Week goes to Don H. Twietmeyer, Esq., CPA; Chairman, Board of Directors; Rochester General Hospital Foundation. If his title wasn't so long, maybe he could get his head out of his you-know-what long enough to realize what a huge blunder he made.

Mr. Twietmeyer is being sent the Horse Pucky Award of the week for his insensitive letter sent to my deceased husband requesting a donation to the Rochester General Hospital Foundation.

Last year, over $2000 was donated to the Rochester General Hospital Lipsom Cancer Center in memory of my husband,Tom. Thoughtless letters like this make me wonder if the corporate right hand even knows it has a left hand.

Rochester General Hospital was wonderful in treating Tom through his difficult illness. As a result, I expected more from them. I was wrong. Their biggest mistake was partnering with a fundraising firm out of Henderson, Nevada called IDC. These firms have about as much sensitivity as a brillo pad on a baby's butt.

If RGH has to do fundraising at all, how about hiring a local fundraising firm to keep the money in Rochester, where it can go back into our community.

Because IDC is in Nevada, the percentage they make off this fundraising campaign goes into their back pocket. They don't have to pay taxes in Nevada. The money is probably siphoned off into some account in the Caribbean where it goes to fund drug trafficking.

I won't be sending two cents to Rochester General Hospital unless I give directly to the Lipsom Cancer Center. The bag of horse pucky is ready, Mr. Twietmeyer! What's your address?

Horse Pucky Explained

All righty then, to your left we have horse pucky or horse manure. Pucky is also called that other four letter word that begins with an "s" and ends with a "t" but is too crass to mention in polite company.

When properly cured, pucky is great for your garden and indoor plants. It's also symbolizes the state of our nation and all the people in our nation who are full of...well...horse pucky, which is the real reason I've started this blog.

I like people who say it like it is. No nonsense, just the real deal. No tippy-toeing around the issues for me. Walking on eggshells to avoid honest conversation is uncomfortable and a drag. It makes me impatient waiting for the real communication to start. Sorry, I guess I'm not great at small talk.

There's an awful lot of pucky flying around these days. Of course when it lands I guess I need to think of it as cultivating my garden of patience...or is that impatients...no it's impatiens, those herbal, saccate flowers with dehiscent capsules. See what I mean.