Horse Pucky Advice: Cat's Favorite

Dear Horse Pucky,

Our family cat likes my wife better than me. Why is that? ~Cat Lover Too

Dear CL Too,

Maybe it's your after shave, the tone of your voice, or how you treat your wife. Give the cat some cat treats, then take your wife out for a romantic dinner for two. Be sure you don't get the two mixed up.

If you really want to impress the Mrs., plant a rose bush. Dig two feet deep, add some horse pucky, then put in the rose bush, cover with topsoil, and water. She'll love it.

The cat may decide to like you better, 'cause that's how cats are. ~ Horse Pucky

Enjoy the day!  ~The Horse Pucky Queen

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue. Who Cares?!

Now that Valentine's Day is coming, I decided to write my usual curmudgeonly valentine thoughts. Fair warning to any of you who follow my blog. And for those who don't...tough noogies.

Is your barn/house cat your real significant other? Are you tired of all the delusions about love sweet love? Do lacy valentines make you want to run to the liquor cabinet? I can answer "yes" to all three of these questions. So, let's get straight to the heart of the matter. Valentine's Day is more fun spent in the barn shoveling horse pucky.

In my opinion the only ties that bind are made of either baling twine or barbed wire. The reality of it all is; it's easier to stay single. I know a gentleman who belongs to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever he feels like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn his toast for him.

I just realized it's 1:20 a.m. I need to get my beauty rest. Tomorrow I'll continue this Valentine saga.