Horse Pucky Advice: Clip Joint

Dear Horse Pucky,

 I share an office with another person. This person has the disgusting habit of clipping his nails at work. The clippings land on my desk and sometimes in my coffee. I've tried hinting about this through body language, but the clippings seem to hurtle their way onto my desk at various times of the day. What should I do?

~Clip Joint

Dear CJ,

How gross! First I'd talk with this moron and tell him that not only is his nail clipping habit tacky and offensive in a workplace environment, but it's hygienically unacceptable. If that doesn't work, talk to his supervisor. If that doesn't work, I'll be happy to send you a bag of Horse Pucky so you can leave individual dried horse poops on his desk, along with a gift certificate to have his nails professionally manicured at a local nail spa. 

~ Horse Pucky

First Sign of Cabin Fever

Many women have beautiful feet. I'm not one of them. Over the years I've been stepped on by horses, men who think they can dance, and objects falling from overhead closets that were placed where they shoulddn't have been. But it doesn't matter, because this time of year (and it's only the middle of January) I get cabin fever. The first thing I do to avoid my homicidal tendencies during these cold snowy months is get out a bottle of red nail polish and paint my toenails. It's usually a rite of spring, but this year I can't wait until spring.

I keep the house at 62 degrees, because I'm too cheap to pay the gas & electric company their exorbantant rates, so the red nail polish I used got kinda gloppy. Again, I don't really care, because my toes are a lovely shade of gloppy red and I'm happy. Everytime I look at my toes I smile. Yup, this cold weather is really getting to me. But, then again, simple minds like simple things.