Ass: Equus Asinus

There are probably more names for a donkey than any other equine species. It's Latin name is Equus asinus. The male donkey is called a  Jack, hence the word Jack Ass, which I often call our local and national politicians.

The female is a Jennet or Jenny; no relation to our loveable Jenny Matlock, who decided to do another round of alphabet Thursday. She'll be sorry. In fact she probably already is, after reading this "A" post.

Donkeys are fun to have around. They're highly intelligent, and love social interaction with people. They're exceptionally good with small children with whom they establish a formidable bond, especially against parents .

If you're in the market for something larger than a dog, but not as big as a horse, a donkey is for you.The best part is, if you call your husband a Jack Ass, he'll think you're talking to the donkey.

Fruit Loops



F is for fruit loops. They were a tasty breakfast treat when my children were in elementary school. After breakfast, in the summertime, all the neighborhood kids made necklaces out of the colorful fruit loops then strung their fruit loop necklaces on tree brances for the birds to eat.



Your job as horse pucky readers is to choose the real fruit loops in these images. The first person to respond gets a gift bag of Horsie Delights for your indoor plants. Send me your address so I can mail your gift.


Horse Pucky Award of the Week

Well, well, another politician caught doing what the rest of us would be arrested for, but instead, is still "serving" the public. Ha!

Steve Katz, NY state assemblyman, got caught speeding on the NY state thruway. When he was finally stopped by a state trooper, it was discovered Mr. Katz had a bag of "wacky tobacky" in his vehicle. According to the officer who stopped Mr. Katz, the vehicle Katz was driving smelled like burning marijuana fields. To make matters worse, Steve Katz  sits on the Assembly's Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Committee. Our NY tax dollars hard at work! "sneer"

The Horse Pucky Award of the Week goes to Assemblyman Steve Katz for disobeying the very laws he's trying to uphold. Tsk, tsk.

Rhetorical Horse Pucky

If I hear one more negative campaign ad I'll SCREAM! How about some ideas as to how we're going to solve national issues, local problems, and global warfare instead of slamming political opponents?

I have a few ideas of my own:

NO MORE TAXES of any kind on anything. Also included in the "no more taxes of any kind on anything" are no more property assessments that far exceed the true value of our homes.

Think about how much money we'd save as well as money we'd have to spend on goods. The auto industry would perk up, the housing market would be revived, retail businesses would see a profit for a change, and I could put money in the bank instead of pay the government for stuff I don't want, need, or use including all this expensive campaigning.

No local taxes:

1. People can pay to send their children to school. Maybe they'd appreciate it if they had to pay for it.  Kids could work part time to help their parents regardless of child's age. It'd get the little rug rats away from the TV and the computer for awhile and get them some much needed exercise.

2. Individual home owners could hire private contractors to plow our roads and highways, creating more jobs instead of using the local towns and state D.O.T. to do it. You know the state D.O.T. Those guys who make $65/hour standing in the middle of the road holding a sign that reads "SLOW". Do I really need to pay state and local taxes so these guys can get paid to hold up a sign telling me I need to go slow when a three lane road is reduced to one lane? Puhleeeeze! At least have the courtesy to entertain me while I'm waiting for my turn to drive forward. Perhaps a little song and dance while holding the sign would be enjoyable.

National issues:

There wouldn't be any issues if we stopped paying taxes. No more politicians to pay. No more rhetorical horse pucky. No one telling me how much I owe the government on April 15th, no one telling me how to live my life, and no big perks for government officials from big business.

Global warfare:

There would be no warfare. I'd host a national "come-on-over" for dinner day once a month. All the nations would be represented... BYOB and a dish to pass. Think of all the great food and drink we'd enjoy. We could have camel rides, pony rides, and a pinata filled with candy for the kids. Maybe even a belly dancer or two for you gentlemen. I need to work out a location. Maybe somewhere in Adirondack State Park.

No more rhetorical horse pucky! Give me some positive, fun ideas.

The Draconian GOP

After watching and really listening to both parties during their respective conventions, then reading several essays by Pulitzer prize winning authors along with articles by the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, Analysis Center, Washington Post, and the New York Times, I've come away with the knowledge that the Republican party is draconian.

I honestly tried to be objective in order to make an intelligent decision about the 2012 presidential election. After hours of reading, viewing, and pondering I came to a decision. For me there is no contest. I'll be voting for Barrack Obama...again. Why? Because my life is a lot better since Barrack took office and I'll bet the farm that it'll get worse if Romney/Ryan are in the oval office. 

There are so many issues I could write about in this blog post as to why I'm voting Democrat, it would take pages and pages of health care propaganda facts, budget facts, social issues, women's rights issues, and retirement concerns, to name a few.

My biggest concern is for the disabled, our most vulnerable members of society. Currently Jon's son, Gregory is 49 years old and has advanced stage cerebral palsy. He's been in a wheel chair 95% of his live with no use of his lower limbs. He's unable to talk, walk, or go to the bathroom on his own. He is totally dependent on staff members in his residence home to bath him, toilet him, and feed him. Who pays for this? Our tax dollars in the form of medicaid and social security for Greg. And I don't mind my tax dollars going for the truly disadvantaged in our society.

Romney/Ryan said if they are elected the first thing they will do is sign a bill scrapping medicaid and social security. What about people like Greg and others like him? What's going to happen to them? Who's going to pay for their daily, 24/7 care and services they need?

It's time for people in this world to look at the whole picture, not just their own situation. Gregory had no control over the hand that was dealt him. This is the vulnerable segment of society that needs us and that is why I'm voting for a humanitarian President, not a draconian candidate.

Just call me The Horse Pucky Queen.

 

Jon Terrific

Jon Terrific

Remember Tom Terrific? Well, meet Jon Terrific. For those of you who don't remember the former, Tom Terrific ran in a series of five- minute cartoons created specifically for the Captain Kangaroo show from 1957 - 1959.

Tom Terrific was drawn in simple cartoon style featuring a boy hero who lived in a treehouse and could transform himself into anything he wanted to thanks to his magic funnel-shaped thinking cap, which also enhanced his intelligence.

Enter Jon Terrific. There is a remarkable similarity to the original TT character.  Jon doesn't live in a treehouse, but he has a house nestled in the trees. When he wears his funnel-shaped hat, he magically turns into a pro golfer. Just this morning, Jon's intelligence was evident when he agreed with me regarding my political views, which doesn't happen very often. And he's my hero...and a really really good sport.

This is no horse pucky. The funnel hat really works. So, ladies, if you want the man in your life to create magic for you or at least make you laugh, be sure you put a funnel cap on his head.

Manure Tour

This morning, as I was taking Silver out of the pasture to ride, her pasture mate, Sadie, cleverally snuck around Silver and pushed her way through the gate. Sadie galloped footloose and fancy free for at least 15 minutes. She ran through the barn, out the open door, and jumped over the manure pile kicking horse pucky in every direction. That little horse can jump.

I started thinking, something I try not to do too often, as I'm trying to conserve brain cells in my senior years. Anyway, as I was watching all that horse pucky flying in 100 directions all at once, I thought about the political campaigning going on and the national and local horses asses that run for office.

At least Sadie was having fun, not hurting anyone, and eventually came back to me after her scenic tour of the farm, which didn't cost taxpayers anything.

Think about our politicians. They spend millions on campaigns, then make a career out of bilking the American people with their travel junkets, lavish retirement plans and benefit packages. Doesn't matter if  they do a poor job, a mediocre job, or even a just a good job. They all retire at 100% salary plus full benefits. Who do you think pays for that?

From now on I think I'll start calling the political campaign trail, the manure tour.

Three Big Pigs

Three Big Pigs: Democrat, Republican, and Tea Party

Once upon a time there were three pigs who got too big for their own epidermis. One was a democrat, affectionately known as an ass; one was a republican, often referred to as the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about; while the third big pig was really a mad hatter in disguise and the head of the Tea Party movement.

None of the three pigs really cared about the people they served, only their own self-serving. And believe me, there was a lot of self-serving going on. Campaign spending had run amok. Special interest groups courted the three big pigs on a daily basis. Everyone was in bed with everyone else both metaphorically speaking and literally. You get the picture.

Then one day something happened. People decided not to feed the pigs anymore. People also started investigating big business, HMOs, and the education industry. The three big pigs started to lose weight. There was no more campaigning, no more war, no more contributions and the greasing of palms by those with deep pockets. It was just awful for the three big pigs!

However, it was wonderful for the people, of the people, and by the people because they decided to have a lean meat pig roast. I heard certain people even brought their own homemade BBQ sauce and baked beans. 

Twisted Retoric

Ya gotta love those politicians and their twisted rhetoric. All the horse pucky they spew is enough to make you dizzy.

Unions, corporations, and the education industry are all major contributors to the political machine. Unfortunately, money talks. The chief players who influence public policy are the ones with the deepest pockets and unlimited funds.

Obama received *$24.5 million from individuals within the education industry who have a six figure plus income. We know who they are, and we know who they aren't. It's the superintendents of school districts, presidents of major universities, and their "yes" men. It's definitely not the teachers who are in the trenches all day.

The politicians claim it's a charitable, educational donation to help the students toward a better future through education. All I have to say to that is, "HORSE PUCKY"!!! Take that $24.5 million and put it toward more support staff for at risk students. Then maybe I'll start believing your claims for change; change that is supposed to better serve the people who voted you into office instead of listening to your twisted rhetoric.

* Figures from www.opensecrets.org

More Political Horse Pucky

Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, has defined clearly who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day. It's a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!

545 vs. 300,000,000 People
-By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The President does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a President to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.
The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The President can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? John Boehner. He is the leader of the majority party. He and fellow House members, not the President, can approve any budget they want. If the President vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in Iraq and Afghanistan it's because they want them in Iraq and Afghanistan ....

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees...

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it... is up to you.
This might be funny if it weren't so true.
Be sure to read all the way to the end:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for
peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid...

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax


STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the heck happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 545 times!!! YOU can help it get there!!!

Case Dropped: Or Sue Me Part III

If you've been following this blog for the last week, you're up to speed on the Senator Alesi debacle. Then again, if you've been following this blog at all, you either don't have enough to do, or you are as wacky as I am.

In any case, Senator Alesi dropped the lawsuit. His public apology on TV was enough to make you want to gag. It was all syrup and no substance; typical political rhetoric. He dropped the case because enough of us hounded him, making his life VERY uncomfortable. It was easier to drop the lawsuit than to clean up another 86 pounds of horse pucky mysteriously left on his doorstep. Oops, did I say that!?

Let's Start Over

What you see in the picture above are a group of politicians. Oops, no they're really a congressional gathering of turkeys...same difference. I honestly think the turkeys would do a better job taking care of their constituents. Let's face it folks, real turkeys provide food for Thanksgiving and Christmas; I don't see our elected officials doing that.

I think we should start over. Let's fire everyone in office and elect someone who cares. As for me, I'm voting for the turkeys I "shot" in my backyard.