Moisture Or Oysters

I thought I was over my cold, but apparantly not. My ears are plugged up and my hearing is off.

Case in point is the phone converstion between my daughter Wendy and me today:

Me: Hi, Wendy, How's everybody doing? Is your cold better? Mine is.

Wendy: Everybody's fine and I'm feeling much better. Glad to know you are better. Oh, before I forget, we have moisture in the basement and we're not sure what to do about it.

Me: Oysters in the basement?! You know I love raw oysters. I'll be right over with the coctail sauce.

Wendy: No, Mom. I said moisture. You know, like in damp. I thought you said your cold was better.

Me: Oh...moisture. I'll bring over the dehumidifier instead of the coctail sauce.

At this point, I can picture my daughter rolling her eyes as she completely changes the subject.

Wendy: Let's get our nails done this evening at the new nail spa.

Me: They're serving snails at the spa? I love escargot with garlic and butter.

Wendy: I think you need a nap, and have your ears cleaned out while your at it. I have to go now. Call me when you have your ears roto-rooted.

We finally decided that a dehumidifier for the basement was a good idea, and having our nails done will be a nice treat as soon as our colds are completely gone.

Civil War of 2010

It was bound to happen sooner or later. The government is at war with itself; local, state, and federal. All the governing bodies and all the government parties need to be fired.

How many parties do we have now? Let's see, there's the all too familiar Democrat and Republican parties. Then there's the Independent Party, the Green Party, Sara Palin's Tea Party, the Party To Have A Party, and the ever popular Horse Pucky Party. Personally, I think we're Partied out, except for the Horse Pucky Party.

Our governments spend more time fighting amongst themselves than working. I can honestly see a Civil War looming. All the opposing parties will wage war against one another, while the taxpayers will fight against all the various governing bodies; local, statewide, and federal.

It will be a war to remember, especially if no one pays their local, state, or federal income taxes this year. I can hardly wait. I won't have to file a tax form.

A Code In My Node

Yuk! I have a code in my node. My head feels like it's packed with leftover gauze pads, and my ears are plugged. I feel as though I've been ground up in the insinkerator and put back together by an evil troll.

My drugs of choice to get me through this general malaise is Robitussin cough syrup, guaifenesen, and ibuprofen. The cough syrup keeps me from coughing all night, the guaifenesen offers chest congestion relief, and the ibuprofen reduces inflamation of all body parts. All three combined make me very sleepy, which is what I'm going to do...sleep.

Jon brought over some home made chicken soup, which really helped, gave me a hug, and covered me up with a warm blanket. What a wonderful guy! I think I'll go back to sleep and dream warm, tropical thoughts, while swimming under a waterfall with the guy who brought me home made chicken soup, in hopes I'll get rid of the code in my node soon.

The Bees Knees

I was thinking about my grandmother today. She was a free spirit, always dressed with utmost style and good taste, and (for want of a better description) always thought outside the box. Some of her phrases such as, "Wow, that's the cat's pajamas!" Or "That's the bees knees!" have carried over into my vernacular.

Before I continue using her lingo, 'I thought', it'll be a good idea to look up what Gram's phrases actually mean because I've been known to throw out some words that have totally different meanings than what I originally thought, such as "tube steak", thinking it actually meant hot dog.

Both "cat's pajamas" and "bees knees" originated in the 20's and was part of the typical vocabulary of the flappers, young women whose avant garde wardrobe and free-spirited disregard of social conservatism epitomized the spirit of the Roaring Twenties. My grandmother certainly was all of that and more. I miss her.

"Cat's pajamas", and "bees knees" both mean "that is great", "wonderful", or "the hottest new thing". I kind of figured that out based on how it's used in context. But you never know. At least I haven't embarrased myself too much this time.

Anyone under 50 always laughs and questions the phrase, "Hey that's the bees knees." Now I know where it originated and can explain the history along with the wonderful memories and spirited presence my grandmother continues to give me.

Out Of The Moment Retreat Facilities

For those of you who showed an interest in our Out of the Moment Retreat facilities, we have grass huts available for a reasonable price. Just outside the entrance to your hut you can commune with our local gorillas, go for a hike in the mountains, or walk a short distance and go surfing.

There's also a seaside horseback ride on two retired thoroughbred race horses, who still think they're on the track. Watch out for the horse pucky when you go barefoot on the beach!

We promise you a very exhilarating, exciting, natural vacation. Oh, I almost forgot. We give each of you a complimentary bottle of Merlot with each booking. You'll need it! AND you can pick your own coffee beans for an early morning, extra fresh, cup of coffee.

For a vacation you'll never forget, email us for a reservation before we're all sold out.