Horse Hair in Your Underwear

My new business is called Itch This, or IT for short. It's become quite popular.

The premise for the business is "payback" to husbands who are unkind and just plain disrespectful to their wives. Here's how it works: I get a call from the wife who is a victim of rudeness. The teary-eyed spouse then puts her husband's underwear in a plastic bag and delivers the bag to my house. My task is to launder the undergarments (boxers, briefs, tee shirts) in a special washing machine designed for dirty, hairy, horse blankets.

Everything (underwear and horse blankets) are washed together, then dried, folded and put into clean garment bags. It's a win-win situation. My horse blankets get cleaned, and the dispirited wife gets retribution along with a few good horse laughs.

The only one who has a problem is the boorish husband who can't figure out why he keeps itching uncontrollably all day.

Clean Underwear

Mothers always have wonderful pearls of wisdom that escape me after really thinking about them. My favorite one is, "Make sure you always wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident and have to go to the hospital."

Who cares about clean underwear when your body becomes road ravioli after a car accident. Maybe my mother was thinking about other hospital situations such as your water breaking upon going into labor, then you have no time for clean underwear. Or rolling around on the floor trying to pass a kidney stone, then you are in too much pain to pull a pair of underwear over one leg.

So much for those pearls of wisdom. At least I don't wear my undies inside out when they get dirty.