Fun After Your Colonoscopy

Ever had a colonoscopy? They tell you how to prep before, and what to expect during a colonoscopy, but they never tell you how you'll react to the sedative they give you. I'm sure it varies depending on each person's tolerance to medication, but it turned out to be a fun experience for me...probably not anyone else involved at the Dr.'s office, but that's okay, 'cause I'm never going to see them again.

I wanted to watch my colonoscopy procedure on the small screen monitor they had hovering over the gurney I was laying on. So I asked if I could bypass the sedative they wanted to give me. Dr. Steve said, "No! That first turn with the endoscope is a sharp right and we don't want you to feel any discomfort which would make you move, which could tear the wall of your colon."

"Swell, I said sarcastly. How about just a little bit of sedative so I can watch, but not feel the pain." "We can do that", said the doc. "Are you sure you really want to watch this?" Now I was starting to get a little nervous, but said, "Sure, I can tell my grandkids all about it over dinner." Grandkids like cool stuff like that.

As soon as I said "grandkids...dinner...." I felt a needle prick in my backside. I could hear the nurse's voice over some blues rendition of some tune I don't remember, "This will help you relax. It's just enough sedative to take away the pain, but not too much so you'll be able to watch the procedure on the monitor."

When I woke up, I asked when the colonoscopy was going to happen. Tom, my husband, said "It already happened." "Wait a minute. I missed the whole thing! I got gypped!" At which point Tom asked me," Would you like to get dressed and go home, or would you like to stay and do it again, or maybe we could come back next week?" Believe me when I tell you, I didn't want to go through another one of those nuclear laxative preps. So, Tom helped me get dressed, and held my hand as we got ready to leave. I was feeling mighty mellow.

On the way out of the office I grabbed people I didn't know, hugging them and telling them how much fun I had and how much I loved everyone. How do I know this? Tom was laughing two days later and spilled the beans. I was so embarrassed. Knowing his sense of humor, I thought, 'He's kidding.' So I decided to call the Dr.'s office the next day. The office staff all verified Tom's story. Apparantly, I even went into one of the cubicles while some guy was getting ready for his colonoscopy, hugged him and told him how much fun he was going to have.

I don't know what was in that sedative, but everyone should go through an out of body love experience like that at least once in their lives.