Ferris Wheel: Fazed

The letter "F" brings back happy memories; scary but happy.

My grandson, Zane, and I went to the Fireman's Carnival about ten years ago. We had loads of fun at all the booths until we walked by the Ferris wheel. Zane said, "Grammy how about going for a ride?" I replied with a flat out, "No!"

You see, I have a fear of heights. I have no problem flying in an airplane or climbing trees, but I hate climbing ladders, and I'm especially terrified of sitting in an open box attached to a circular moving device, which is at least five stories high, and the open box I'm sitting in, is rocking back forth in the wind. Plus it makes my stomach queasy after a couple of hot dogs and cotton candy.

Because Zane is my grandson, and because I wanted him to have a good time, I gave in and went on the Ferris wheel ride. Big mistake. This was the evening the Ferris wheel broke down for over 30 minutes and we were stuck at the very top swaying back and forth in the breeze. Zane thought it was cool, I was fazed to the max. The cotton candy and hot dogs were doing flips in my stomach and my mental state wasn't so hot.

The only redeeming things were watching the sun go down from a height of 264 feet and the lights come up in the surrounding village and watching Zane have a fun time. Those three things were actually magical. The best part is I didn't throw up.

When the big wheel was repaired it whirred to life, and before long Zane and I were safely on the ground. We were reimbursed the price of the Ferris wheel ride, took our reimbursement and reinvested it in a couple of candy apples.

Alphabet Thursday letter ("F") is brought to you by Jenny Matlock.  

Entrails in the Sky

Jon  and I were sitting on the front porch watching the jets overhead. It was one of those beautiful late spring mornings complete with clear blue sky and bright sunshine. All was peaceful and quiet when I said, "What a great day for the pilots to fly! And look at those entrails in the sky!"

Keep in mind, I'm an English major who spent part of my teaching career creatively educating adolescents on the importance of good grammar.

Jon started laughing.  I said, "What's so funny?" He continued laughing then said, "You're the English major, think about it." "Think about what?!"  I was getting annoyed. "I think you meant contrails, not entrails. Those are contrails being emitted from the jets. If you're seeing entrails, the pilot's in a lot of trouble."

My retort was, "Oh yeah, I knew that." Then I thought, 'Contrails...water vapor, not entrails...exposed intestines.'

Every time we spot a jet flying with a long thin artificial cloud behind it, Jon snickers and says, "Hey Pam, look up in the sky, there's another one of those entrails."

Jet on over to Jenny's for more Alphabet Thursday "E" words.

Dust: How to Create the Perfect Person...or

dust from under fridge

Most household dust is made up of 75% - 90% sloughed off human skin cells and a small percentage of pet dander, which includes loads of DNA. Since I found that out, I feel guilty every time I vacuum or mop under the stove and refrigerator. I figure, maybe I just wiped out Uncle Henry or Aunt Gertrude.

Then I got an idea. If you're smart you'll stop reading right now and run the other way.

My idea is this: If I put all the dust from the vacuum cleaner bag, and all the dust "bunnies" from under the stove and fridge into one big container, then cover it for at least a couple of months, the DNA from everything that ever entered my house would create...ta da...the perfect person...or Super Cat.

Jenny has some fun "D" words for alphabet Thursday. Have a great weekend y'all.

Sink Repair

I got my sink repaired. How do you like it?

My cousin, Patty, sent the above picture to me. I'm beginning to wonder why people keep sending me comics, pictures, and jokes about wine.  HA!

Nuts: How to Catch a Squirrel

As soon as I was out from under my parent's radar, I went to work devising a plan. I'm not sure where Mom and Dad were; probably watching TV or something.

Our kitchen chair was the ideal height for an eight-year-old to stand on, which gave me the perfect opportunity to reach the three bags of mixed nuts in the pantry.

After climbing up on the chair, I quietly picked up the bags, climbed down, then  moved the chair back under the table to erase all traces of evidence.

Prior to all of this, I spread newspapers under the juniper bushes in our back yard, anchored by four strategically placed rocks so the papers wouldn't blow away. Of course I did this when no one was looking.

The next step was to go outside, open the three bags of nuts, and spread them over the weighted newspapers. 

My plan was to catch a squirrel. I wanted a cute, furry, squirrel to keep me company in my room. It would be just the squirrel and me. Friends forever.

 It was tough getting to sleep that night, because I was really excited about my new, secret squirrel venture.

When I looked outside the next morning, every single nut was gone. The newspapers were still intact held down by the rocks, but no nuts and, even worse, no squirrel. Boy, was I ever disappointed.

When my parents went to open a bag of nuts for a snack, they discovered all three bags were missing. I was questioned and denied everything. It was the newspapers that did me in.

When my dad went out to mow the lawn, he saw the newspapers...and the rocks...and put two and two together. I spent a lot of time in my room that day...alone...with no squirrels or anything.

Comics: Reflection in Red

I love comics; always have. This one was emailed to me yesterday by Horse Pucky Pal, Randy, who  said the comic reminded him of me. Hm-m-m, I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that. ; )

This comic makes me laugh every time I look at it.

Here's hoping you all enjoy these beverage glasses as equally as I do, especially if they're filled with good wine. Have a great weekend.

Thanks Jenny for providing the platform for us to share one another's joys, triumphs, and overall silliness.